Getting Ready to Move in With a BPD-Diagnosed Significant Other

[awkoct]

Hi everyone. This is my first post here, so I sincerely apologize if I accidentally do this the wrong way. I'm reaching out because my boyfriend and I are getting ready to move in together, and he's been long diagnosed with BPD. He's very far along in his treatment, and has a good handle on it; DBT was very successful for him, and he was working really hard on managing his symptoms long before we started dating. His episodes are few and far in between, and overall I think he's very realistic and pragmatic about his diagnosis. He's very frank and honest with me about where his head's at, and isn't afraid to seek out professional help when he feels even the slightest shift. All that to say, he's gotten really good at handling it on his own, and had it mostly under control when we started dating. That being said, I know living together is going to be different and present new challenges. It should be noted that I've been diagnosed with depression, generalized anxiety disorder and ADD, so my headspace isn't at 100% all the time either. I'm worried about what happens when eventually we both hit a low simultaneously, and how I can avoid taking on all of his hardships on top of my own (which he doesn't want me to do, but I think it's important to acknowledge that it's almost impossible for me not to take it on at least a little when I'm his partner) while still being supportive, caring, and attentive to his mental health. He means the world to me; he's been such an incredible source of good in my life, a rock during my own battles with my mental health and I want to be as helpful as I possibly can. Anything, any suggestions or advice, I'll appreciate it dearly.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Mutt]

Hi awkoct,



I'd like to welcome you to bpdfamily. I'm glad that you decided to join us, I can understand the anxiety associated with moving in together and finding it hard to support each other when you're both going through a low. I hope that it doesn't sound like i'm deflecting the question, it's hard to say what is going to happen. I think have anxiety and depression too so I can relate with how difficult it can be when i'm not functioning at 100%.

I think it's important to do self care to function better and even when you're functioning at 100%, sometimes when we feel better we may neglect self care because we feel better. Congrats on moving in together, I admire both of you because you have awareness and you're not scared of reaching out when there's a need. It helps to talk to people just like, we can offer you support and guidance.

Every situation is unique, there may be specifics when and if you're both feeling low, but we're here for you for all situations, anxiety is normal, everyone has anxiety, it may be caused because we're prepping for a major test, we might to deliver a public speech at school or at work, I can see how moving in together would cause anxiety, it's normal  


PS. You'll find the lessons to the right side of the board.