Perhaps you should consider why you're asking this? You don't control what she does, but you do control how you react. Can you let go and move on.
Easier said than done... .I struggle sometimes and I do wonder what is going on with my BPDx, but then I quickly remember I don't want to be with her because she hasn't changed and I don't want to board the Crazy Train again. So why would I care what she is doing?
I accept my role in the downfall of our relationship, but I also accept she is BPD and I don't value myself based upon how her future relationships unfold.
It's quite possible that he has very unhealthy behaviour that works better for a BPD, eg more push-pull which keeps her in there, or more co-dependant and malleable. What is certain, though, is that she is still BPD and will eventually let the mask fall and this time it won't be your problem.
(why) I find it weird because I always assumed that they followed a similar pattern? I realize that our particular pattern of 2-3 months of good behaviour then the 'crazy train' kicks in isn't definite but I am trying to apply logic to a person gradually swimming deeper and deeper away from the shore (logic) since she was 25. I remember meeting her and she was wonderful. The older she got, the more bitter and resigned she seemed to become, blaming me in the process.
I just feel like I invested so much time (7 years) and money and now it seems to be harder to find someone I like so I can truly move on. Mentally, it's getting better much faster than before, but I'll still think back a little bit each day or second day, especially without employment or a new girlfriend.
