simply mean mother

[ReneeP]

I decided to check this site after 6 months of horrible events.  My mother is in the hospital after neighbours in the complex called the cops when she was yelling and threatening them for the x times.  She insults whoever doesn t agree with her.  She accused my brother of theft when he didnt do as she said.  When my sister didnt answer the phone, she left a message saying she would tell the cops she abused and hit her if she didnt call back.  I haven t spoke to her in 6 months, as I can t handle the verbal abuse.  My sibbling now have medical issues caused by stress, so when my mother was picked up by the cops, again, I called the cops, her doctor, social services and her lawyer to get her commited.  I feel guilty and horrible but I m afraid she will end up killing someone.  She has been in court for threatening my aunt for not calling her.  Just not sure what is right or wrong anymore.  My aunts and uncles are very supportive, which convinces me I m doing the right thing.

[Mutt]

ReneeP, 



I'm sorry that you're going through a difficult time  Making a choice, a positive one for the betterment of others can be difficult, this is a really choice.

My aunts and uncles are very supportive, which convinces me I m doing the right thing

I'm glad to hear that you have people that are positive in your life that can give you positive feedback about yourself when a pwBPD say mostly negative things about you, it's unrealistic and it's confusing. I can relate with that feeling where you're not sure anymore about anything because of a loved one with BPD.

I'm glad that you decided to join the site, many of us here can relate with you and offer you guidance and support, it helps to reach as much as you can about the disorder, it normalizes BPD and we can learn to depersonalize the behaviors.

You decided to self protect 6 months ago, I think that self protection is a good choice if it's something that you feel suits your situation and needs, it gives us time and space to heal our wounds from people that disrespect our boundaries. I'd like to offer you advice, your mom, these situations makes a triangle, a pwBPD will often cast themselves in the role of victim, sometimes in the role of rescuer, seldom in the role of persecutor. A pwBPD will cast family members in the role of persecutor, pwBPD is a persecution complex, the person believes that their circumstances are not caused by them, their caused externally by others, when tension builds in a r/s sometimes people will seek a third party, that tension is easier to cope with because it's shared around three people, but it keeps the cycle of drama and blame ongoing.  The best position for us to be in is in the center of that triangle by not participating in the roles we're cast in.

Escaping Conflict and the Karpman Drama Triangle