Hi Pato
Welcome to the site.
I hope I can offer you some support on some of the things you've faced.
I am new here first post. Glad to find a support board or I would have overextended some friendships!
A good idea. I felt uncomfortable after a point sharing things with my friends and support network.
We are a gay couple of eight years, two legally married. He is Colombian I am US so for the first several years wrote everything off to stereotypical Latin temper and passion.
In the first year or so of my own relationship, I wrote things off to my partner's disposition.
Leaving him behind set him off, he said he wouldnt be around when I returned and took off wedding ring.
I faced something very similar to this several times. It involved anxiety from my partner, removal of rings, and physical distance.
Now reading up on BPD, I am confliccted. I am so tired of the troubles I just wish he'd stay there... .so I am free. I want him to get better, but don't know if I have patience or strength to stick around or have him back. Chances for improvement are low and will take years. I am out of gas.
I know this feeling of being out of gas. Regardless of what decision you make for yourself, I hope you'll take this time to exercise self-compassion. Given what you've shared about the rolling conflict, this article on Wisemind will help you:
https://bpdfamily.com/content/triggering-and-mindfulness-and-wise-mindThere's a video here that works on a related concept:
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=89910.msg604907#msg604907I hope you find peace.