Hey everybody

[rlatvala]

I've been married to my wife for five years now and she has been having BPD before we even met and I am the only person who pretty much knows about that. I personally have generalized anxiety disorder (match made in heaven haha) and for the last year or so I have tried my hardest to get my own problems sorted out and have actually done quite good. I have been as supportive to my wife as I have been all these years and it is really starting to take a toll on me now.

She has had her life in good order for a while but now today and yesterday she's been going through stressful days at work/school and a certain thing went sideways that would probably not be so rough to those who don't have BPD. Since she is in another city for the month, I've only been able to text and call her and haven't been able to help and calm her in person.

I love her to death and she is my best friend but out of nowhere she put out a goddamn text that she don't want to be with me anymore and want's to be alone. Now I know that she doesn't mean that (she has no reason to) but I'm just so worried because I'm unable to go and sooth her. She won't answer my calls or anything and I'm kind of afraid for the upcoming weekend because I bet she will start her fits when she comes to home.

I don't even know what I'm asking here but I've said every single thing there is to make her feel good but nothing seems to work. I just feel so bad that she has to go trough her emotions all by herself and I'm here, left hanging.
I'm sorry if this doesn't make any sense and this is the first time I talk about her condition to anybody.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Meili]

Being in a relationship with a person with BPD can be exhausting. I think that most of us here can relate to that. It does help to talk about it with others who understand because they've been through a similar situation.

I applaud you for getting help with your own stuff while trying to help her.

What happened before she sent the text message telling you that she wanted to be alone?

Keep posting and learn as much as you can about BPD. Knowledge gives you power and helps you make the choices that are best for yourself.

[heartandwhole]

Hi rlatvala,



I'd like to join  Meili in welcoming you. I can understand this taking a toll on you, and being far away doesn't make it any easier. Although no one can get inside your wife's head or heart, it sounds like she may have expressed her in-the-moment feelings out of frustration and/or stress. I hope that is the case.

I'm glad you decided to post, because you'll find a lot of members here who understand. And tools to make things better.  You'll find them on the right sidebar of this page ---->

Has she exhibited similar behavior before this?

Keep posting and sharing. You are not alone.

heartandwhole