My first post.

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Hello All,

I'm new to the club and this is my first post. I actually found a link to this forum on Youtube while watching a video of what life is like for a person living with BPD. I must admit I felt such a sinking feeling in my soul as the slides and narration slowly depicted all the behaviors that I've been subjected to over the last almost 2 years by a person that I thought loved me just as much as I loved her. My ex and I officially ended our relationship just last week, hours after our first counseling session, and the amount of hurt that's left in my heart is so immense. I thought she was the one and loved her deeply. I'm so happy that I just happened to stumble across this illness when searching for answers because I thought I was going insane with the amount of self-questioning I've been doing.

I'm actually fairly astute when it comes to reading people. I'm an intuitive introvert with a very healthy esteem of myself. I also have a pretty uncanny ability to detect things and see them for what they really are. Which is also why it's so easy to beat myself up for allowing this to have gone on as long as it did, even when I saw the red flags and blatant behaviors. When I make the decision to love someone, I make every attempt to love them in every action, not just in word. That makes finding this forum that much better because like I've read in so many posts, those who have never dealt with it just can't understand it in the way that we do. The way that we get sucked in and then find it hard to let go. One of the things that hurts the most is the revenge-lying that's being done by my BPDex, to assassinate my character within the group of friends that I met through her, and her family. They all think I'm crazy when I know just how good, patient, selfless and loving I was to her. She's become the victim and me the aggressor. But I know that everything I did for her, I did with her best interest in mind, even through all the abusive treatment.

I don't have time to post my story right now as I'm about just introducing myself before I leave work. But I could really use some support / validation ladies and gents. I know you don't know my story yet, but knowing that I'm not crazy would do me a great deal right now. Since I am introverted I'm very selective about who I open up to and especially who I give my heart to. To say that I'm heartbroken would be a huge understatement.

I can't wait to post my story.

[TechMan]

Hello All,

I'm new to the club and this is my first post. I actually found a link to this forum on Youtube while watching a video of what life is like for a person living with BPD. I must admit I felt such a sinking feeling in my soul as the slides and narration slowly depicted all the behaviors that I've been subjected to over the last almost 2 years by a person that I thought loved me just as much as I loved her. My ex and I officially ended our relationship just last week, hours after our first counseling session, and the amount of hurt that's left in my heart is so immense. I thought she was the one and loved her deeply. I'm so happy that I just happened to stumble across this illness when searching for answers because I thought I was going insane with the amount of self-questioning I've been doing.

I'm actually fairly astute when it comes to reading people. I'm an intuitive introvert with a very healthy esteem of myself. I also have a pretty uncanny ability to detect things and see them for what they really are. Which is also why it's so easy to beat myself up for allowing this to have gone on as long as it did, even when I saw the red flags and blatant behaviors. When I make the decision to love someone, I make every attempt to love them in every action, not just in word. That makes finding this forum that much better because like I've read in so many posts, those who have never dealt with it just can't understand it in the way that we do. The way that we get sucked in and then find it hard to let go. One of the things that hurts the most is the revenge-lying that's being done by my BPDex, to assassinate my character within the group of friends that I met through her, and her family. They all think I'm crazy when I know just how good, patient, selfless and loving I was to her. She's become the victim and me the aggressor. But I know that everything I did for her, I did with her best interest in mind, even through all the abusive treatment.

I don't have time to post my story right now as I'm about just introducing myself before I leave work. But I could really use some support / validation ladies and gents. I know you don't know my story yet, but knowing that I'm not crazy would do me a great deal right now. Since I am introverted I'm very selective about who I open up to and especially who I give my heart to. To say that I'm heartbroken would be a huge understatement.

I can't wait to post my story.

[JaxDK]

Welcome Techman. I'm introverted too and can see myself in a lot of what you describe about yourself.

I'm very sorry to hear of what you are going through. Most of us have been there or going through it right now. The breakups are very very painful and hard to move on from because of the complex nature of the relationships and the roles we play in them. There will be difficult times ahead but there is a lot of hope too just remember that. What you describe a lot of us can relate to and offer insights to as well. Just know we are here for you when you are ready to share.

[Mutt]

Hi Tecan,



You said you're very aware and are self aware and usually you can see trouble coming from a mile away, you are right that you're with people that get it, even if you have really good boundaries, sometimes out and not our mind leads us. I'm sure that there are valuable things that you can take with you forward after having gone through this experience, I'd like to echo JaxDK, these are incredibly painful breakups, I'm looking forward to reading more of your posts, you're also right that it helps to validate your experiences.

PS The lessons are to the right of this board