Hi Roger1,
Welcome and hello
Glad you found the site, and sorry for the grief and sadness that brings you here.
Being on an emotional roller coaster is common for people with BPD, and like you describe, it can be scary to experience the mood swings and blaming.
What is one of the aggravations you are coping with at the moment? Maybe we can walk with you and tap the collective wisdom here for skills that might work.
Is your wife diagnosed?
LnL