Want to help, but I don't want to make things worse

[Fraser]

Hi all
I've have been in a in a relationship  with a BPD  sufferer for approx 2 months now. I say relationship,  it's more text messages than anything else although we both care about each other a great deal. We are both married and it's very complicated.
Anyway the girl in question "V" has been diagnosed with BPD, PTSD, and recently DID. I want to help her and be there for her but I have sometimes  don't what to say for fear of making things worse.
Should i try to sugar coat things i say or just be honest and say the things that need to be said.
Are BPD sufferers more liable to be offended by intrusive questioning?Also is it OK to talk about past events that have caused upset? I'm not talking about deep subjects like her traumatic childhood or anything like that. I do not have the skills or vocabulary to tackle subjects like that. I mean family issues or work related  things. Recently her brother tried to commit suicide (he's paranoid schizophrenic ). Also she's having issues with her business that could cost a lot of money. I want to ask about these rings but I don't want to drag up the past and upset her,  but at the same time I don't want her to think I don't care or I've simply forgotten about it.
Thanks all in advance
Fraser

Sorry if this has been posted in the wrong place, I didn't really know where to put it

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