Unanswered questions. Any ideas?

[Lostinanother]

My ex would cheat and lie and then get furiously angry because I said that her actions stated that she didn’t love me.

Even in the end while she was painting me black and with my replacement she was still stating how much she loved me and no one would ever replace me but everything was my fault... .
Why did she want to end it and blame everything on me and say that she loves me but it’s my fault we can’t be together... .

Ending it would have been easier if she just said she hated me, didn’t love me anymore and didn’t want me anymore.
Yet she said the opposite of these things while pushing me away, and telling me she loves my replacement and is sleeping with him and painting me black.

Why?

[araneina]

My ex basically said he was with me out of pity, blamed the failed relationship on me, and more or less insinuated I meant nothing to him when he broke it off.

Trust me... it's NOT easier. Bottom line, I think the cold, angry manner in which BPDs discard of us hurts no matter what they say... .there's no healthy discussion, just... ."We're done, bye bye."

I'm sorry things are so confusing. That's how the operate and it sucks.

[Lucky Jim]

Hey Lostin,

Sounds like the usual push/pull: I love you/go away.

It's common to blame the Non because it's unlikely that a pwBPD will take responsibility for his/her actions, due to black and white thinking.  Blame-shifting is a way to get issues off their place and onto yours.

LuckyJim