Big changes... taking steps backward

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

So… I just need to get a few things out there I quess.

Lately I’m having a set back. I’m doing really good. I still work with my BPDex but that is going to change! The project we’ve been working on is coming to an end  so I’m at the office a lot less. Once every week/ 2 weeks. As from the new year 2018, I won’t be there at all anymore and getting transferred to our main office again. This means we’ll have nothing to do with eachothers lifes anymore since we’ve been colleagues (2014) and the r/s, which ended in 2016, and the brief recycle at the beginning of this year.

He’s living with my replacement, who’s the daughter of a coworker, started his own bussines on the side. I helped him a lot with that in the past and now it’s coming together for him. It’s like all this good stuff is coming out lately, how great he’s doing, how happy he is. And it gets to me in a strange way. It’s not that i want him back, not at all. I am happy with where things are now in my life, but I started dreaming about him again for example. The dreams are always that we’re just ‘friends’, nice and he’s always with my replacement. A little part in me is saying: why is the new girlfriend getting all the good stuff? It’s a feeling I can’t figure out yet.

I think it might have to do with things REALLY coming to an end now: I know I’ll be leaving the office where we work together in january and we won’t be seeing eachother again. It’s like the chapter is finally closing for good. No more looking back. Just like that. In a way it’s a new beginning, totally free from him for the first time in years. It also scares me. I’ve been dealing with this for a long time and now it will be just me and my life.

Any thoughts?
XOXO

[I_am_Stacey]

So… I just need to get a few things out there I quess.

Lately I’m having a set back. I’m doing really good. I still work with my BPDex but that is going to change! The project we’ve been working on is coming to an end  so I’m at the office a lot less. Once every week/ 2 weeks. As from the new year 2018, I won’t be there at all anymore and getting transferred to our main office again. This means we’ll have nothing to do with eachothers lifes anymore since we’ve been colleagues (2014) and the r/s, which ended in 2016, and the brief recycle at the beginning of this year.

He’s living with my replacement, who’s the daughter of a coworker, started his own bussines on the side. I helped him a lot with that in the past and now it’s coming together for him. It’s like all this good stuff is coming out lately, how great he’s doing, how happy he is. And it gets to me in a strange way. It’s not that i want him back, not at all. I am happy with where things are now in my life, but I started dreaming about him again for example. The dreams are always that we’re just ‘friends’, nice and he’s always with my replacement. A little part in me is saying: why is the new girlfriend getting all the good stuff? It’s a feeling I can’t figure out yet.

I think it might have to do with things REALLY coming to an end now: I know I’ll be leaving the office where we work together in january and we won’t be seeing eachother again. It’s like the chapter is finally closing for good. No more looking back. Just like that. In a way it’s a new beginning, totally free from him for the first time in years. It also scares me. I’ve been dealing with this for a long time and now it will be just me and my life.

Any thoughts?
XOXO