See the red flags next time...dont just blow them off for sex

[Beware of Junk Psychology...]

REd flags i missed:if she says ... .

 " My mom was married 7 times "

 " I have slept with many men"

If she cuts up all your clothes , and cuts herself... .probably not keeper material

just saying.

[dumpsterdog]

REd flags i missed:if she says ... .

 " My mom was married 7 times "

 " I have slept with many men"

If she cuts up all your clothes , and cuts herself... .probably not keeper material

just saying.

[Mutt]

Hi dumpsterdog,

It depends on what the red flags are I think that we can look at something and maybe over react. I’m not saying that both of your examples are an over reaction I just want to offer you some advice.

For example I was worried st tg beginning of my current r/s with my gf with the idealization phase of the r/s she’s really into me but I met her into my world anyway and gave her a chance. I think that because of my prior experience with my exuBPDw i was hyper vigilant at the onset of this r/s because of a single thing.

The idealization of a pwBPD is exaggerated and I went into this r/s a different person I didn’t walk in with as many unresolved issues. Pain will always be there but it’s coming to terms with those feelings and not letting them interrupt your life.

A pwBPD need very strong boundaries and you need to defend the same ones every so often. You can’t apply that same formula with everyone even though someone might have red flags or or personality quirks that they have a PD. Just take your time before you make the decision that it’s not a good idea that they’re a part of your life. Talk it over with people that you trust, get different opinions other than your own.