I know I shouldn’t FB stalk, but I can’t help it

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

So.  I still have been FB stalking her. (I know I shouldn't.) But I can't help it.  

I keep seeing that her and her new partner do SO many things together.  When ever I wanted to do something with her she would tell me she didn't want to and then later do it with someone else.  

For isntance.  I wanted to bring her to a comedy club for our first date.  She ended up taking me to a party first, we were going to go there after, but then she drank too much and got too sick to go so we ended up not going.  In the end we went, but that was when we were broken up and trying to be friends, and we went with her group of friends.

I wanted to go to this national park type thing with her.  She wouldn't go with me, but when her friend came to visit she went with her.  

It was like everything I wanted to do with her she would ignore me and like not want to go, but would in the end find someone else to go with? It was very hurtful.  

Now she seems to be doing so many things with her new partner.  In the last month they've gone to a concert, to basketball game, to a bar, to play bingo.

To be fair I didn't have a whole lot of money at the time as I was paying for an apartment, but I would have still managed to do stuff.  I think the fact that I had very little money bothered her too even though we worked the same job. (LOL.) Her new gf seems to be loaded as she worked for a car company doing sales I think.

I would have loved to do all that stuff with her, but she would never do anything with me! Most of what we did was go to movies, and the mall, but whenever I tried to venture out into new ideas she always told me she didn't feel comfortable being around people and just sat and mopped watching tv.  I guess I should have pushed her more to do stuff.

Lesson learned.

[Shedd]

So.  I still have been FB stalking her. (I know I shouldn't.) But I can't help it.  

I keep seeing that her and her new partner do SO many things together.  When ever I wanted to do something with her she would tell me she didn't want to and then later do it with someone else.  

For isntance.  I wanted to bring her to a comedy club for our first date.  She ended up taking me to a party first, we were going to go there after, but then she drank too much and got too sick to go so we ended up not going.  In the end we went, but that was when we were broken up and trying to be friends, and we went with her group of friends.

I wanted to go to this national park type thing with her.  She wouldn't go with me, but when her friend came to visit she went with her.  

It was like everything I wanted to do with her she would ignore me and like not want to go, but would in the end find someone else to go with? It was very hurtful.  

Now she seems to be doing so many things with her new partner.  In the last month they've gone to a concert, to basketball game, to a bar, to play bingo.

To be fair I didn't have a whole lot of money at the time as I was paying for an apartment, but I would have still managed to do stuff.  I think the fact that I had very little money bothered her too even though we worked the same job. (LOL.) Her new gf seems to be loaded as she worked for a car company doing sales I think.

I would have loved to do all that stuff with her, but she would never do anything with me! Most of what we did was go to movies, and the mall, but whenever I tried to venture out into new ideas she always told me she didn't feel comfortable being around people and just sat and mopped watching tv.  I guess I should have pushed her more to do stuff.

Lesson learned.

[The Cat in d Hat]

There’s no way of knowing what’s going on in someone’s mind, but nothing but pain comes when following an ex. I can only offer my experience, which was mine was extremely stubborn.

The day mine called it off I made a future plan for a date to a scenic place. Needless to say we didn’t go, as things got sour really quick over the next 72 hours. I checked her social media the next weekend... .guess where she went?

I was never able to get mine to agree to anything she didn’t want to do. No to therapy, no to going to a doc for her other issues, no to getting tested, no to stop getting more piercings or tattoos, no to saving money. When I said “how am I supposed to get you to start spending sensibly”, she replied “You won’t”, and laughed.

[Shedd]

The day mine called it off I made a future plan for a date to a scenic place. Needless to say we didn’t go, as things got sour really quick over the next 72 hours. I checked her social media the next weekend... .guess where she went?

I was never able to get mine to agree to anything she didn’t want to do. No to therapy, no to going to a doc for her other issues, no to getting tested, no to stop getting more piercings or tattoos, no to saving money. When I said “how am I supposed to get you to start spending sensibly”, she replied “You won’t”, and laughed.

Interesting. 

My ex would also tell me she needed to lose weight, and to save money, but then she would take me out to eat or something because that was kind of our thing. 

But then... .She would blame me for letting her go out to eat as if I was the one causing her to gain weight and not save money. 

In the end, I was the one who ended up gaining weight.  She would also never let me pay for our ":)ates."  Guess they weren't really dates then?

The world may never know.

[The Cat in d Hat]

The world may never know.

They leave a lot of uncertainty. No doubt there.

Attempts to find logic or closure just lead to conflict and pain.

[Jeffree]

So.  I still have been FB stalking her. (I know I shouldn't.) But I can't help it. 


Yup! It's time to block her on FB and time to stop "stalking" her on FB.

Time to stop blaming yourself and thinking there was anything you could have done to still be with her. I mean, c'mon, relationships are work but not that much work with zero reward.

Time to start moving on, repairing the wounds, and focusing on helping you enjoy your life.

J