Love and/or Borderline

[Lara99]

Hi everyone!
In the previous year I starded my relationship. My girlfriend has BPD, I was fine with that in the beginning, but then everytning was getting worse and worse. She was spending a lot of time with her ex-gf and I had to accept it. I was so humble and I didn't want to make hef feel worse. As a result I was crying a lot and I wasn't telling her enything. I had a real problem to handle my feelings. And one day I visited her in another city, where she learns, but she also invited her ex... .That was horrible time, we broke up, I had a depression and in the end they even didn't try to have a relationship.
After several months everything was better, we had a little contact, I had a boyfriend, but I realized that I prefer girls, so we broke up. And one day me and my ex-gf met. We were talking a lot, we were crying a lot, we said that we still love each other and decided to try again. It was two months ago. Everything was fine, but my gf is a type of traveler. She left for some days, and when she came back, she didn't call me or anything like that. I had some tough days, so I asked her ' are you ok? why aren't you calling? I need you'. After that we met. When she was leaving, everything was fantastic between us, I was calm then. But during that evening I felt, that she built a wall between us. I have no idea why! We had no contact during her travel, but nothing happened. But now I feel like she pushes me away from her life. She treats me more like a stranger than a gf. I have no idea how can I handle this, especially because we don't want to break up. We love each other. I guess this come from BPD and it will be over soon. But feeling that way I can see no more option that breaking up. I don't want to do this because I know we will regret this. Did anyone have a similar situation? What did you with that? How can I handle this? What are the other options to wait out that time?

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[pearlsw]

Hi Lara99,



So, your girlfriend is treating you a bit like a stranger and you are feeling hurt? May I ask how you know she has BPD? Did she disclose this to you up front... .or?

Also, which of the symptoms of BPD does she exhibit? Are you currently in a relationship? Or hoping/trying to patch things up between you?

Would you say there is a push/pull dynamic in your relationship?

You can a learn a lot about BPD/BPD traits by reading the lessons to the right of the board here. It is also really helpful to learn and share about this by reading/and offering support on others posts as well.

wishing you best, pearl.