Wedding anniversary was this past Sunday

[mama-wolf]

I debated about posting anything about this because it turned out to be such a non-event.  But ultimately I thought it might be beneficial to get some feedback on why that was the case.

This past Sunday would have been our 12th anniversary (we were together a total of 15 years).  While I was aware of the date, it was basically just another day for me.

Is it because I was the one who chose to end the marriage?  I imagine my uBPDxw's experience of Sunday was very different from mine.  It also helped a little that it was my weekend with the kids and we spent the day on Sunday at the State Fair. 

I did crack a bottle of bubbly after the kids were put to bed and raised a toast to my non-anniversary.  It felt weird, but not what I would call painful.

mw

[Panda39]

mama-wolf,

It sounds like you are making progress in detachment to me, and I think you are right that being the "leaver" probably does make this process somewhat easier.

I was the "leaver" of my marriage too, I had a head start on my husband in terms of processing the end of our marriage, it took him some time to catch up, but he did.

I'm glad you had a drama-free day.
Panda39

[once removed]

Is it because I was the one who chose to end the marriage? 

maybe.

sometimes significant dates affect us powerfully, or they dont. its hard to say what the rhyme or reason is behind when they do, why they do, or dont. i know my exs birthday had me ruminating pretty hard, the whole "do i say or do something, and what, or dont i... .i wonder what shes up to with the new boyfriend" thing. but at the time, the breakup and feelings surrounding it were all very fresh and raw to me. after that, i couldnt even remember when her birthday is 

what do you think?