Husband has BPD

[FishCatcher]

I have just recently discovered that my Husband has many of the symptoms of BPD.  We have been married for 20+ years and have gone through many sessions of I Hate You -  Don't leave me.  For years I thought it was me that was causing this, but after doing some research and reading, I now understand that even though he takes his anger out at me, he really doesn't hate me.

My situation is that I don't have much emotional support.  I sometimes feel like I am the one that is going crazy and if I had someone to talk to when he has his moments of "I Hate You" I would feel better

We are in our late 60s and a second marriage for both.  Families and friends are put off by Husband's anger so it seems that it is just Husband and I dealing with this together and yet alone.

Any words of wisdom and support - much appreciated.  FishCatcher

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Harri]

Hi FishCatcher and welcome to the board!  I am so glad you found us and reached out.  It is important that you have a support network and we can be as big a part of that as you allow us to be.  So I hope you settle in and read, continue to write in your own threads and feel free to jump into other threads that speak to you.  You'd be surprised at just how much you an learn about your own self and relationship when you reach out to others.  So again, I am glad you took the step to post.  We've got ya.

Is your husband aware of his own behaviors?  Are either of you in therapy?   I am not asking about you because I think you have a problem but because sometimes it we need some more support from a professional. 

I do think posting here will be helpful for you so I hope you feel comfortable sharing more of your story with us.  We are here and we care.

[Notgoneyet]

 Welcome aboard FishCatcher,
Sorry for what brings you here & at the same time ,so glad you found us. This board is my calm in a sea of crazy emotions w my uBPDw (undiagnosed Borderline Personality Disorder wife)of 36 yrs.                                  I've been here over a yr and have learned so many life changing BPD coping skills as well as other life skills here. 
Spend some time here & I think you'll find lots of knowledge, much help as well as genuine support!

I like your call name . I'm getting ready to do a little end of season trout catching myself here next week, for part of my self care.
 NGY 

[FishCatcher]

I think I have a better handle on the website now.  Hopefully I won't be doing any PM anymore.

It has taken me 3 days to figure this out. 

Please bear with me.  If I have sent this to a person and not a thread... .30 lashes with a wet noodle!

[Harri]

     

Yes, you did it! 

I am so thrilled you stuck with it!  You just made my night!  No wet noodle lashes here.  Just happiness.

[Turkish]

Hi FC, the FAQ might help: https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=319251.0

What are you struggling with that you thought your husband might have BPD?