The narcissistic family that created her, recycling

[Depression = 72% of members]

Her family which treated me badly, seems to be trying to recycle me. They all propagated the smear campaign and now want to act like we are old friends and her grandma recently called me her grandson.
Is this normal? How does one avoid conflict while losing their interest?
The problem being my status and pay has grown tremendously since my ex and I broke up. I deliver food on the side for extra cash, maybe I should tell them that since it would be bellow them.
She has threatened suicide multiple times while we were together. It would be best to leave her not triggered while bowing out. Her family seems to be the main pull in her life.
There is a protection order from her which is close to expiring. I do not fear for myself, but for her. She will take their rejection as a reason to attempt suicide again.
There is no future between us. I've contemplated saying that I am too hurt for us to ever have a relationship. Would this answer be enough for her family to feel superior?

[naguma]

Her family which treated me badly, seems to be trying to recycle me. They all propagated the smear campaign and now want to act like we are old friends and her grandma recently called me her grandson.
Is this normal? How does one avoid conflict while losing their interest?
The problem being my status and pay has grown tremendously since my ex and I broke up. I deliver food on the side for extra cash, maybe I should tell them that since it would be bellow them.
She has threatened suicide multiple times while we were together. It would be best to leave her not triggered while bowing out. Her family seems to be the main pull in her life.
There is a protection order from her which is close to expiring. I do not fear for myself, but for her. She will take their rejection as a reason to attempt suicide again.
There is no future between us. I've contemplated saying that I am too hurt for us to ever have a relationship. Would this answer be enough for her family to feel superior?

[once removed]

Her family which treated me badly, seems to be trying to recycle me.

have they reached out to you? what have they said/done? tell us more about whats going on.

[MeandThee29]

Families can be tough. It's very common for the pwBPD to use their family to reinforce their position without considering your viewpoint and/or even consulting you. That happened to me, and I backed off. They don't see the BPD and consider me to be the "wayward" one.

Nearly every counselling appointment I've had has stressed that they are NOT there to analyze him when he is not present. They are there to work on me. Thankfully my side of the family took the same stand. They don't go where they don't belong.

If they can just enjoy their relationship with you without blaming you or digging into areas that are not theirs to dig into, it might work. But be wary.

[Turkish]

What emotional pull is there for you that her family had switched gears like this? I'm asking because you haven't indicated that you've told them to go pound sand and that you're done. 

[MeandThee29]

I just remembered something else.

My therapist once commented that how a family responds to these situations is of course often a marker for some of the reasons the person developed BPD.

If there's a breakup, and they try to be fair and helpful, that's a sign of a more balanced family. If they become controlling and dig into the details, you know that the family has issues. In her experience, it is exceptionally rare for the family of someone with a personality disorder to not cross boundaries and to try to take control.