5 kids 13 years

[Loganpass]

I need help. My wife and I have been married for 13 years. I came out of a bad relationship into this one. I was so hopeful when I listened to the introduction to "stop walking on eggshells " finally it felt like I could understand why she acted like this. Our relationship has deteriorated to the point where I turned to travel and alcohol for space to allow myself be me. She had me arrested. We've reconciled "sort of ". We had a stillborn. The funeral was Saturday. She was very angry at me for getting her pregnant. She still is. I feel ashamed that I couldn't grieve knowing her anger towards me and God for letting her get pregnant and then the baby was stillborn. I have been swirling around in this for years. I don't know which way is up.
Thanks in advance

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Bnonymous]

Welcome to the site. I'm glad you found us.

I'm so sorry for the loss of your baby. I expect you both have a lot of painful and difficult feelings about it. Such a loss can put a strain on the relationships of even the strongest of couples, but it must be even harder in a BPD relationship. Do you have any space to grieve? Do you have people you can talk to about it, e.g. therapists, family, friends?

When you say you and your wife have "reconciled sort of," what do you mean? Where's the relationship at now?

[Harri]

I am so sorry for your loss.  I am glad you are reaching out for help though.  You are dealing with a lot and to have grief on top of that is too much really.

We can support you as best we can regarding the loss of your baby.  We can also help you in your relationship with your wife.

Take care and I hope to hear from you soon.