My head is spinning

[Littleluna]

Hi everyone

Allow me to introduce myself. I’m 6 months pregnant and alone. My partner has always shown signs of ups and downs and a jeckyll and Hyde type of situation but they were pretty far between for the first couple years of our relationship. Things were going so well and we are expecting and then all ___ hit the fan. I got really sick and he had to step up and help out a ton more with things and he started seeming distant. That on top of the seasonal change which I noticed was hard for him last year.

Fast forward to a couple of months ago and he came home wasted when he said he was working, passed out on the couch, woke up in a rage and scared the ___ out of me. I kicked him out for the night and he missed my ultrasound the next day. Came crawling back apologetic. Stopped coming home when he said he would. His drinking has picked up. Got caught in a million lies from any and everything under the sun. Said he was going to work one day and went on a bender instead. It lasted two days. From then on his dad and I decided he needed help and we got him evaluated and diagnosed. He agreed to the help and even welcomed it.

So far he hasn’t stuck to the therapists instructions. He’s moved in with his grandma because he isn’t working and isn’t consistent with his sobriety or rage and I have a son from a precious relationship that is impacted by his behaviour.

There have been weekly benders and I have just discovered he’s been lying to me about going to strip clubs. Where he has the money for this I have no idea. Line of credit? He has also gambled all his money away. I’m at my whits end. On top of it all I am the reason for every problem he has according to him. I can’t do or say anything right.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Littleluna]

I’ll also clarify that when I confronted him about the strip club and going on another bender he told me I was making it up and that he needs me out of his life. He ended up messaging me the next day and I told him he needs to be honest or we can’t speak and we haven’t talked since.

[Mutt]

Hi Littleluna,



I'd like to welcome you to the group. I'm sorry to hear about that. It has to be really difficult being pregnant with a partner that is not reliable and is taking out his anger on you. I'm glad that you decided to join us it helps to talk to others that are going through something similar. It helps to talk.

It sounds like you set a boundary it could be that he's at his grandma's because she's more lax on his behaviour. Have you set boundaries in the past with him? That sounds rough that he's blame shifting when you brought up the subject of strippers.