You reached out to her so she knows she at least has you a little bit. She will use this if you let her.
I did the same and told her I wanted to get back together with her. I had been reading a lot about BPD and was pretty sure I could handle her this time. It worked for four months until she told me she “met someone who is not embarrassed of her”.
During this four months she would give me the silent treatment, lie, stone wall and rage.
I made mistakes this go round but I honestly think I could have done everything right and I still would have lost her again. It might have given me a little more time but that’s about it.
When I met my BPD girl I thought she was the sweetest most innocent girl I’d ever met. As I got to know her i found out that within her first 3 years she had slept with at least 6 guys in the company 3 of which were married and caused one divorce.
My point being...of course she was talking to other guys, probably sleeping with them, behind your back. I know it’s harsh but I learned a harsh lesson and it’s not like I am some wide eyed idealistic church boy. Ive been around the block or two and this little girl blindsided me
-The oldest conviction in the world, That the girl you are in love with can’t possibly be anything but true and honest-
John Steinbeck, East of Eden
She did say to me that she knows I still care because I contacted her.
I just feel that it's all an illusion & yeah she is probably sorry for what she did but in this moment & if the same situation happened again she would revert back to her old ways. People surely cannot change in 10 months without extensive therapy.
I can still glimpse her manipulative ways. She basically apologised for all the stuff then went on to point out my bad points & how perfect her boyfriend was. She listed everything such as he wipes her tears, is her rock, her best friend, he spoils her, makes her laugh, cheers her up. But, she is here messaging me when she feels ill & talking sexual. I mean all those times when she was accusing me of chatting to women but I was 100% loyal & had one conversation with a female neighbour in 2 years. She was very suspicious with her phone, most of the time it was bleeping or other times it was conveniently flat when we met. My gut instinct said she was chatting to other guys if not sleeping with them.
She always made out she was innocent. She's been with this new guy 3 months & she said they haven't slept together yet because she's not like that. However, I slept with her after the 3rd date before we were in a relationship.
I do not think I could ever trust her again. All the stuff she said to try & convince me that she was loyal but she's here talking with me behind her boyfriends back even sending me her mobile number & reminiscing about what we got up to in the bedroom. Was she chatting like this with her other ex? This ex's new girlfriend was apparently telling me ex to stop harassing him but according to me ex it was him & not her. I don't even believe this now.
She would pride herself on honesty. This was her excuse to talk to people like
PLEASE READ. But then she lied about a relative having a terminal illness!
Of cause my stupid mind forgets all the bad bits & only remembers the good bits.