Wife w/BPD

[GoodGuy11]

Hello BPD Family,

This site was recommended to me by my therapist. I am struggling with a wife who aligns with virtually all of the BPD traits. I've been reading (or listing to the audio book version) of "Stop Walking on Eggshells", and I'm amazed at how much the stories relate to my situation.

First, you must know that I married my now wife in her home country outside the US, as we originally planned to live there. After much consideration, and after finding out alot about her troubled past (abuse, assault, etc), we decided it would be best to come to the US. The immigration process took about a year, which at the time didn't seem like an issue since it's what needed to be done but I now realize the fact I had to return without her during that year, fueled so much resentment and feelings of abandonment.

It's been a rollercoaster ride since she moved here. I am doing the best I can and am emotionally drained.

I'm here for support and reaasurance. Mainly because the past few years I've thought I was going crazy

Look forward to reading more and sharing as well.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Ozzie101]

Hi there GoodGuy11! Welcome to the family!

We're certainly glad you've found us here. This is a supportive community full of people with lots of experience and tools to share and our goal is to help each other along this sometimes confusing road.

Eggshells is an eye-opener, isn't it? It certainly was for me -- it's what led me here.

Going crazy? Been there. Until I started learning about BPD I had no idea what was going on.

I hope when you feel like it you'll share a little more about your relationship. For instance, what areas cause the most conflict between the two of you? What BPD traits do you struggle with the most?

As I said, we have a lot of experience and tools that can help. We've seen some seemingly hopeless situations do a complete 180, so there is hope!

Keep posting, keep reading, and, again, welcome!

[pursuingJoy]

Goodguy, just want to join Ozzie in welcoming you! It was feeling crazy that brought me here, too. 

I was born and raised outside the US. Immigration processes, separation, unknowns and transitions carry stressors all their own. It's been a few days since you posted. What's making life a roller coaster ride?

We're here.
pj