my bd partner is currently in a crisis. i dont know what to do with my anger.

[yasemin]

Hello everyone,
Although in the 2 years of being with him I have gone through this a myriad of times I still don't know
how to talk to him
how to support him
how to protect myself
what to do with my anger

I am not sure what triggered him this time. He mentioned that "I was angry" in one of his messages which i could not see how he felt that from the messages i had sent him all day or from how i was feeling. Possibly he was projecting his anger and tiredness from work on me.

I got very frustrated from his abrupt messages and then i did feel anger. I have bp traits myself and i am in therapy. I tried not to express the anger as  I know this only makes things worse when I do it. I have always suppressed anger and have an autoimmune disease. So i am not trying to let my anger surface which is very hard to manage with a full blown bpd partner. When I did see him later on yesterday he was closed off in a social setting and hiding from everyone. He would not look at me or any one of our friends that went to talk to him. I tried to touch him. He would not respond. I would come and go feeling awkward. He left and sent me a message that there is no point in him imposing his bad mood on people. I offered to go to his house and for us to sleep together. He did not respond. I waited for a while in my car. When I arrived at my house and let him know he said "oh ok. have fun"
He has not eaten in a few days and constantly makes complaints about feeling dizzy and with an upset stomach. He has various symptoms that show there are medical issues but will not go for a check up.
I dont know if I have an actual question.. maybe I just want to find solace with people going though a similar situation. I feel tired and drained. At least I dont take his accusations and bad manner personally anymore - it used to be a hell of a trauma trigger dance between us. but i dont know what to do with the emotions his behavior arouses. and i dont know how to approach him.
should i keep in touch or should i let him be? how dangerous is he for himself?
i feel tired and drained and wish he would just go to a therapist and start the healing process. as long he does nothing to help himself other than smoke marijuana all day i feel hopeless. i love him. he is a wonderful person when he is not in the zone. anflknfnnfnfnfenl
this is just too difficult.
since yesterday he keeps responding nastily abrupt when i am nice to him. i go silent and try to cool off. then i approach him again. a part of my dignity feels betrayed. i long for a little "im sorry". this has been happening all day. i dont know what my part in this is. what im doing wrong. i dont know how to protect myself without feeling i am abandoning him.
 
thank you for listening
yasemin

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