Hi all,
I know its overused but I definitely think im an empath/codep. I spent 9 years with a narcissist, I didnt know she was until after we divorced and now Im extremely prudent in my interactions with people.
Cue co worker, starts at work "recently". Shows flirtatious signals from afar, and walking past desk. Never puts herself in many situations where we can interact 1 on 1 though. Parks near me round various car parks as i moved around regularly. Theres about 3.
Silent treatment on few requests to meet, and social media not excessive over such along period, perhaps 5 requests in 18 months. I find her attractive but sent them as I believed she liked me? Hot / cold.. push / pull behaviour. Caught her looking at me and she had poor emotional regulation (became flushed) ? Looking agitated when she knew we were about to interact. But ive just been calm and patient with her. But feeling that limbo between attachment anf engulfment.
My question about psychic energy is there have been a few occasions where I have felt her void, her sadism, and her thirst for power.
This occurred on the final invite I sent, she had ignored it a few days. I cancelled it as it was scheduled for the following week. Such a lack of congruence in her behaviour. She saw me in distance and could see I was angry / upset. Walks past. Finally messages me that evening as she could tell, to say she was confused about invite and she is ditzy? I defused situation saying it was dumb and i just got a bit upset. She said im sorry you feel that way. I was actually crying that night because the silent treatment had gone on for over a year before i thought lets try and meet up, so the emotional abuse had been festering. But I also felt this weird sexual sadism psychic energy from her. I dont want to go into too much detail because its really
PLEASE READed up but is it normal to feel something like that from someone with BPD? And how likely is the psyhic feeling to be real or misconceived? This is ALL from NON VERBAL communication.
The next day she continued to park near me I couldnt believe it, she was in the best mood shes ever been in that day to everyone. And i caught her have that smug look in her eye. I feel her ego and glory she was getting from oneupmanship. Perhaps she didnt feel empty that day?
But for an empath this psychic feeling feels real. I thought she was a codep like me for a while so I carefully let my boundaries down to test the waters, at times her behaviour had resembled NPD that had been so familiar to me for 9 years but I couldnt get my head around her subtle signs of strong empathy. Now im almost certain she has BPD.
