I’m trying to understand

[Marly]

So this is kind of hard
 I am completely in love with him and most of the time I’m heart broken because I can’t help him... I find myself getting upset and overwhelmed when he has out bursts lately his cycle is every three days and the are getting worse they are not physical but the things he says are extremely hurtful.. now I have recently got him to open up about what he feels and because I’m not in his head I’m finding it hard to understand and I’m starting to feel for a lack of better words guilty because I can’t help take the pain away. Idk what it is he needs from me and I also don’t know how to tell him he need that his actions are hurtful and stating to take a tole on me... I also think he need to talk to a professional but idk how to bing that up.. but today when he gets home we are going to sit down and talk hopefully we can set a few boundaries

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[Agshoe]

sorry to hear you are going through this Marly.

How did your chat go?

My pwBPD broke up with me a month ago and I'm still feeling guilt, self blame, thinking I did not do enough. When actually I did so much. I bought her a car and a few days after she ended it with me. It's crazy that I would still be wanting to talk to her and apologise. When I asked why she didn't tell me before I bought the car, all she said was - "Yeah, bad timing". There's no understanding there for my feelings.

I hope you can help him to get support if that is what he also wants. Sometimes though people need to want to get better themselves. It is their journey. My Ex was diagnosed with BPD but untreated at present, not getting any therapy, because she said she couldn't afford it. I gave her money for 6 sessions of therapy and found a good therapist for her. But she never acted on it in the time we were together. I hope the situation is different for you. But remember to look after yourself and stay well.