Borderline

[bpdthoughts]

b]What type of relationship are you in?[/b]
I am the parent of a 25 year old with BPD
 
Who else (if anyone), in child's family, has BPD?
Nono
What is your child's strongest quality?
 My daughter is extremely intelligent as well as artistic
 
What are the top challenges your child is facing?
We are currently struggling with opiod addiction along with all of the other bpd struggles
 
What do you find most difficult in dealing with your child?
 She refuses therapy. 
How would you categorize your child? Diagnosed? Undiagnosed?
diagnosed
 
What do you struggle with yourself?
She has overdosed recently   I don't know how to deal with her drug addiction in relation to the bpd  Do I use tough love?  Do I continue to support her.  She refuses therapy.  Has type 1 diabetes.  We have been through many types of therapy in the past   Her addiction is tearing our family apart  I don't want to abandon her but where is the line?
 
Is anyone in therapy? Child? Parents?
 If so, what types?
not currently
 
What are your goals at bpdfamily.com?
I need to learn and hear other stories and how they overcome the struggles
 
TAKE THE PLEDGE HERE
 Logged
My Son's Recovery-In-Progress

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[formflier]

I'm so glad you found us, I think we can help you sort out some very important questions that you have raised.

  Do I use tough love?  Do I continue to support her.  

https://www.bpdfamily.com/portfolio-child


I certainly don't want to give you an answer at this point, yet perhaps I would suggest you slightly tweak the question.

Is my support helping?  Is my support enabling?  What is the difference?

I hope the link I have provide can help start you on your journey to answer these hard questions.  I would like to hear your thoughts after you read the article.

Best,

FF

[bpdthoughts]

I guess my confusion is with the fact that we have had so many people (law enforcement and therapists) tell us to use tough love.  She is a type 1 diabetic, so we still provide financial assistance only for diabetes supplies.  She does however manipulate us to buy her things and take her places.  We generally give in.  We feel as though we are held hostage to her.  If we don't, she will let her blood sugars drop or takes xanax or opiods.  We are at all loss in that we are terrified of losing our daughter and is it realistic to expect someone with BPD to abide by limits? 

[formflier]

Ugg..that is a hard spot to be in.

So...to be clear, she will say (give me x) or (take me to y) and if there is hesitation or refusal on your part she will then threaten that if you don't do what she wants the "consequence" will be that she will not properly take her medicine.

Do I have that right?

Perhaps a more minor question.  Do you give her money and then she buys the supplies or do you but the supplies and then hand them to her.

 

Best,

FF

[bpdthoughts]

Thanks so much for your replies.  We do not give her cash, we purchase the supplies and hand them to her as needed.  When her blood sugar drops low or we can't get her to respond to us, we do call 911 and they do a safety check.  She did actually overdose one month ago and I found her and revived her.  The police then told us to call 911 any time we can't get in touch with her as they would have a faster response time. 

She is currently unemployed, will be out of insurance in July and lives with her boyfriend.  She wants him to not work also as she continuously reminds us that part of her disorder is a problem with separation.  She has made threats to harm herself if he goes to work, or if we don't meet her demands.  When that happens we do have her put on a psych hold, but she always talks her way out.  We are terrified that we are going to lose her but can't keep giving into her demands.  Buy me clothes, take me to dinner...the list goes on.