Hi B00K84,
I’d like to join the others and welcome you to BPDFamily. I’m sorry that you’re going through a difficult time and for the circumstances that you led you to the forum.
You’ll find many members here that can relate with you and offer you guidance and support. You’re not alone.
You are correct that BPD is a spectrum disorder - you have some pwBPD that are low functioning they can’t hold down a job, have a hard time keeping it together and you have some people that may be doing well in theirs wild and can keep it together around others.
I want to thank you for having the courage to sign up and share you true feelings. It helps to talk. My advice is to read as much as you can about the disorder you’ll quickly see benefits and become proficient over time.
Try to be an observer and emotionally detach from moments where you’re thinking about him.
keep comparing it in my head to other diseases- like if he had cancer or some physical illness I would never leave him - so feel like I shouldn't treat a mental illness any differently.
There is treatment for a mental illness and it’s a very difficult thing to cope with but it’s also on the person that’s mentally ill to get help for themselves.
Has he displayed motivation to want to get help for himself?