What's next now?

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Hi guys,

I'm not at my best.
She met a guy 1 month ago and she posted on instagram about it.
The guy is in drugs like her finally. What I had to expect.

I saw her a month ago at the balcony of an appartement with this guy. I ignored her. But she shown me to the guy. It was so gross. My hotel was just next to that place.
Well, after this week-end, the day after, she unblocked me on imessage. Maybe she expected a message from me. I didn't.
But today, a month later, she posted the picture of her on instagram with the comment with butterflies (supposed to be our things).
The guy posted the same picture.
Well, during 1 year of our messy relationship (she was having bad behaviors, drugs cheating...) she never posted something about us.
I'm wondering why now with this guy.
Do you think guys she expects me to react?
Someone had the same things with an ex?

Thanks for your help.

[Anonym2806]

Hi guys,

I'm not at my best.
She met a guy 1 month ago and she posted on instagram about it.
The guy is in drugs like her finally. What I had to expect.

I saw her a month ago at the balcony of an appartement with this guy. I ignored her. But she shown me to the guy. It was so gross. My hotel was just next to that place.
Well, after this week-end, the day after, she unblocked me on imessage. Maybe she expected a message from me. I didn't.
But today, a month later, she posted the picture of her on instagram with the comment with butterflies (supposed to be our things).
The guy posted the same picture.
Well, during 1 year of our messy relationship (she was having bad behaviors, drugs cheating...) she never posted something about us.
I'm wondering why now with this guy.
Do you think guys she expects me to react?
Someone had the same things with an ex?

Thanks for your help.

[Cant breathe]

It hurts, I know, but you need to run. She is not good for you. And the drug use is  hard no.

[Anonym2806]

It hurts, I know, but you need to run. She is not good for you. And the drug use is  hard no.

I know but when she came back, she said she stopped everything.
Now with this guy, I’m not expecting her stopping coke.
But wtf is she posting her new rs after 4 weeks?

[Cromwell]

She was probably not lying. My ex would often say "I've stopped drinking" or drugs also. It's true but the question is. 'for how long until begin again'?

Im sorry you expirence this upset, if you are not a cocaine user and she is continuing, it is simple to explain that she is hook up with someone who will provide and share in the habit with.

My ex asked me to do the same thing, i said no. Its then a. Situation when they crave it they have to find someone else to do it with. Rarely it is done alone. Not for love, but to have someone nearby that can phone an ambulance if need be.

[Anonym2806]

She was probably not lying. My ex would often say "I've stopped drinking" or drugs also. It's true but the question is. 'for how long until begin again'?

Im sorry you expirence this upset, if you are not a cocaine user and she is continuing, it is simple to explain that she is hook up with someone who will provide and share in the habit with.

My ex asked me to do the same thing, i said no. Its then a. Situation when they crave it they have to find someone else to do it with. Rarely it is done alone. Not for love, but to have someone nearby that can phone an ambulance if need be.

I don't do that. I never touched cocaine or other drugs in my life.
She doesn't care about providing as she has money (she's wealthy).
I'm hurt because in 1 year, she never shared the happiness between us and now, she not even since a month with the guy, she show up her "happiness". But I guess it will be short.
I'm stuck in something bad.

[B53]

The reason she is posting about her new rs after four weeks Is because very unhappy people need to prove to others how happy they are, so that maybe they can believe it too.  She is an addict and everything she does is driven by drugs. She doesn’t have time to love, it’s always about getting the next fix. It’s a lot less lonely and more validating having someone else destroying their life with you.
 
Of course you’re hurt, what she is doing sucks. I’m not sure how much better it makes you feel, but you have come to the right place if you want to find people who understand!

Do your best to take care of yourself.

[Anonym2806]

The reason she is posting about her new rs after four weeks Is because very unhappy people need to prove to others how happy they are, so that maybe they can believe it too.  She is an addict and everything she does is driven by drugs. She doesn’t have time to love, it’s always about getting the next fix. It’s a lot less lonely and more validating having someone else destroying their life with you.
 
Of course you’re hurt, what she is doing sucks. I’m not sure how much better it makes you feel, but you have come to the right place if you want to find people who understand!

Do your best to take care of yourself.

Is that something you experienced with an exBPD?
I'm focus on my business, I lost 15kg and never been on that good shape, I stopped drinking even a wine at dinner, I eat healthy (Diet for 12 weeks helped me).
My friends today were with me. They all said she doesn't deserve me after all the lies. I tried hard to be her support, even after the breakup. But seeing her on tinder broke my heart and my soul. Because the reason she couldn't be with me it's because she had to fix something in her mind. And she swore she doesn't see anyone and don't want to see anyone.
I created a fake tinder account, then I saw her. She was looking for "a relationship" and not a ONS.
So after that, I activated my tinder account and found her. Guess what! we matched. She made it funny but something inside me was broken.
I can't trust her anymore, I'm so hurt. I don't believe after a month with this guy, she's showing off.

[Cromwell]

they can idealise very fast, and mimic and emulate whoever they meet. If it is a gangster, psychopath, they will adapt to becoming whatever the role of a girlfrien gangster psycopath expects. This is the mirror that exists, and it eventually faces stress fractures when they feel they cant match up to it anymore (remember it is a play -act and a grasping for an identity they dont genuinely have, it is a false persona that has a time limit before expiry). on the other side of the coin, they find out the guy they idealise is not quite what they believe they were, and cracks arise there too. At this point the devaluation and mistrust kicks in and small things are called "grave lies" (remember, everything before was emotional extremes) they "fall in love" recklessly and childlike. it isnt a mature love, it is a child love which is an idealisation of love. It has a time span before the awakening happens and the devaluation kicks in.

its good you have steered away from being involved in the drugs, my advice is to see this outcome as an early warning that for whatever benefits she appeared to provide, there is a very faulty rotten stump that you cant fix and will bring you only more agony. This is a heads up warning, let her continue on her path and see her dismissal of you as a fortunate early warning before things could get a lot more worse. I wish id have had that opportunity, its only luck that I managed to eventually get out the situation years later, relatively unscathed. Some members have literally almost ruined their entire lives by continuing down the road.

you dont trust her, Love is impossible without it. Think strongly about the value of the relationship and if there is sensible reasons to try and "save" it or "cast it to the pyre" its entirely a choice only you can make.

you have our support along the way. sorry again for that experience its a nasty thing to go through. youll get over it though.

[Anonym2806]

they can idealise very fast, and mimic and emulate whoever they meet. If it is a gangster, psychopath, they will adapt to becoming whatever the role of a girlfrien gangster psycopath expects. This is the mirror that exists, and it eventually faces stress fractures when they feel they cant match up to it anymore (remember it is a play -act and a grasping for an identity they dont genuinely have, it is a false persona that has a time limit before expiry). on the other side of the coin, they find out the guy they idealise is not quite what they believe they were, and cracks arise there too. At this point the devaluation and mistrust kicks in and small things are called "grave lies" (remember, everything before was emotional extremes) they "fall in love" recklessly and childlike. it isnt a mature love, it is a child love which is an idealisation of love. It has a time span before the awakening happens and the devaluation kicks in.

its good you have steered away from being involved in the drugs, my advice is to see this outcome as an early warning that for whatever benefits she appeared to provide, there is a very faulty rotten stump that you cant fix and will bring you only more agony. This is a heads up warning, let her continue on her path and see her dismissal of you as a fortunate early warning before things could get a lot more worse. I wish id have had that opportunity, its only luck that I managed to eventually get out the situation years later, relatively unscathed. Some members have literally almost ruined their entire lives by continuing down the road.

you dont trust her, Love is impossible without it. Think strongly about the value of the relationship and if there is sensible reasons to try and "save" it or "cast it to the pyre" its entirely a choice only you can make.

you have our support along the way. sorry again for that experience its a nasty thing to go through. youll get over it though.

Thanks for your words Cromwell. There is no point for me to continue this. I’ve been hurt so many times during and after the relationship.
I’m trying to move one and it’s not easy. especially when you see that kind of stuff.