Desperate Times

[Exhausted23]

I have been with my wife for 10 years and we have 4 amazing children.  I started researching BPD because during our whole relationship should would be mean and angry than not. She showed all the signs of cheating fiercely projecting, accusing, ect. Probably all of them.  I grew up without a dad and was no picnic. So when I had my kids all I wanted to do was be the best Dad and husband I can be. I never had any proof she was physically cheating, so figured messaging.  Long story short, I just caught her cheating last week with a Gps device and a friend went to the location watched her jump in this guys car. . Was done in 25 min. She was with her girlfriend for 2 hours.  Than got a quickie. I allowed person to manipulate me beyond belief.   The only reason I allowed is the love I have for my family and I had no proof. So I now know she been doing for atleast 4  years.  I say that because for the 1stvyear and half of having her babies she was the sweetest woman I had ever met. Than as her abandonment issues come up start stray away manipulate me.  She knows I won't leave my kids.  I don't trust her with my kids especially in the episode she is having now.  Feel like i am a sucker saying but I still love this woman unconditionally and she is suffering.  I grew up in foster homes so she knows how deep my loyalty goes and that's part of the problem.  I want her to get hope. She had a very tough childhood and I'm able to see the sweetness in her.  I had a parent w a mental illness who never got the proper help.  I know I can't help her unless she wants it.  It the past all i did was battle her now I  barely talk because I don't know how to engage in a conversation without triggering her.   How do I speak to her and effectively not trigger, but maybe help her too. I know I'm asking for a lot with cunningness of this disorder but I can't just turn my back on her.  Any tips insist would be greatly appreciated.  I know most people common sense run and take care of the kids.  I cannot turn my back on my kids.  I jus  can’t. I also can’t turn my back on this woman as sick as she is right now. 

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

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You’re dealing with a lot and it’s wise of you to protect your children as best as you can.