any help please

[user]

it's like hell
i can't do anything in my life since he o break up with me
he has bpd and couldnt hold in the relationship because of his disorder.
he tried to tell me indirectly that he cant be in a relationship that's make him feels pressure, unstable feelings, fear of abandonment etc and he couldn't take it anymore.
he told me that the relationship with him is toxic I'm doing a favor for you, because after year you will tired from me and you will leave me.
but the one who left is him not me

he doesnt know that i know about his disorder.
please help what I should do, I feel bad, loneliest, lost I just want him back

 thanks for reading.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Cat Familiar]

I’m sorry you are suffering the loss of your relationship. It’s very difficult to be involved with someone with BPD. Are you still in contact with him?

[user]

I’m sorry you are suffering the loss of your relationship. It’s very difficult to be involved with someone with BPD. Are you still in contact with him?

well I was, but the last meeting was terrible and its been 30 no contact I didn't send anything