Why does logic not work?

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

I have all the evidence I need. I have all the years wasted. I have pain and a trove of journal entries that support the reasons to cut all ties. Even with the evidence, I find myself strategically finding ways to still see what she is doing. Does this happen to you too?

[lost_in_FOG]

I have all the evidence I need. I have all the years wasted. I have pain and a trove of journal entries that support the reasons to cut all ties. Even with the evidence, I find myself strategically finding ways to still see what she is doing. Does this happen to you too?

[NotAHero]

I have all the evidence I need. I have all the years wasted. I have pain and a trove of journal entries that support the reasons to cut all ties. Even with the evidence, I find myself strategically finding ways to still see what she is doing. Does this happen to you too?

 It takes time for your emotions to catch up to logic. The important thing is to keep reminding yourself of the logical thing to do. You may have some hiccups but with hard mental work you will eventually get your emotions to catch up with your logic.

[Mutt]

Do you find at times that she does or says things that make you feel guilty?

Does that guilt make you feel like you’re obligated to stay?

[lost_in_FOG]

Do you find at times that she does or says things that make you feel guilty?

Does that guilt make you feel like you’re obligated to stay?

100%. Not only does she say things to make me feel guilty, but she also attacks my weakness which is her intense level of sexuality.  She will go months showing me none of it as she's pushing me away, but when I reach my breaking point, she pours it on with everything she has. Incredible photos, videos, and words that lure me back.  But this time I'm going No Contact and will not be fooled into thinking she's "changed" or "is ready to be fully committed and love out loud".   All those bullPLEASE READ promises mean nothing anymore because her actions are the truth.  No more recycling.

[Rev]

It takes time for your emotions to catch up to logic. The important thing is to keep reminding yourself of the logical thing to do. You may have some hiccups but with hard mental work you will eventually get your emotions to catch up with your logic.

This is ABOSLUTELY TRUE - a relationship with a person with BPD can, and often will, impact your nervous system. I'd say it took me about a year before the two started to mesh again. Now in my case, she abused me pretty badly - so for every one it's different.

Hero is right, there are hiccups. Some people may trigger you without you even realizing it. So don't neglect what your body is telling you. It may just be telling you that it needs to rest a while to heal.

No shame in that.

Hang in there.

Rev