36+ Months, Introspection

[Red5]

Lots to tell, it has been a while, ... almost four years.
I have learned so much.
I have turned myself inside out.
This place is now so different.

RedV

[Gemsforeyes]

Red...!

It’s you.  I think I know it’s you!  We knew one another, as well as we could... here.  I’ve thought of you often over the years.  If I’m correct about this being you.  I pray you are well.  And happy.  The twisting of ourselves happens, a lot.

I remember your beloved son.  And you sitting in the back yard of your property, both alone and with him.  He’s an adult and needs your protection.  Your writing always painted pictures for me.

And if this is you, I remember the struggles of your wife.  And your pain.  I’m sorry.

You love motors and things like that.  Our US military.

You and @formflier shared a close bond.

V is 5.  I think this is you?

And yes, this place is different.  But the healing continues for some.

I’d love to hear from you.

With love,
Gemsforeyes

[GaGrl]

What has changed for you?

[khibomsis]

Red5! Is this you? I just wanted to let you know, although we have never talked, that once in my worst bout of ruminations, I read through ALL your posts. You meant so much to my healing! Thank you so much Glad you have come back, I was worried something might have happened to you. Sounds like lots did...

[Red5]

99,

Yes, it is me.

It is good to hear from ya'll, ... ya'll have all been in my thoughts (and prayers) many days and nights over the past years ... glad that ya'll have stopped by here and visited.

I am good (sustaining), hopefully I have grown; stronger/smarter {introspection}, albeit nothing has changed; the situation is the same (Dec 1 will be four years separated).

I have to say, I feel like I should have an "honorary" psychology degree by now .

What is the internet saying, "all I wanted was a lifelong meaningful relationship, and all I got was this crummy yewtube psychology degree" ... 

#anylsis paralysis
#"what an education!"

Hope I don't get into trouble for reappearing as a ghost writer ... reckon will see how it goes, ... I am not a tech savy person (resurrection), ... "all good", I look forward to catching up, and interacting again here; if allowed to stay.

My head space is full of all kinds of "knowledge" now (downrange), would really like to interact, and share, and dialogue again (lessons learned) ...

One of the things I have learned, ... "if a person wants to leave you, you need to let them go" ...

The world is such a different place now, ... wow ...

Best wishes and greetings to ya'll ... Red

 

[Goosey]

One of the things I have learned, ... "if a person wants to leave you, you need to let them go" ...     
   
Painfully true.

[Gemsforeyes]

Hi Red-
I’m glad to know it’s you.  So good to “see” you with your humour still intact.    I have to believe if you want to connect with your old posts and have misplaced your password that the mods will help you do that... or maybe you wish to disconnect from that?  Your choice!

So if you’re prepared, what’s on your mind these days?
 
Where do you find yourself in the steps of detachment, waiting it out, communication with your wife, etc?

You know, I read something insightful the other day related to the phrases “let it go” vs “let it be” and the potential different impacts on our psyches and emotions:

The phrase “Let it go” seems to imply we need to take some type of action - GO.  The phrase “Let it Be” implies there is nothing more for us to “do”... we can let our hurt, pain and worry float off.  And that was the day I finally, finally blocked my exBPD/NPDbf’s phone number.  Over 2 years after our breakup.  Because he did continue to contact me periodically for his own self-serving reasons.  There is no healthy reason for me to ever engage with him or to read anything he may write.

I’d love to know where your thoughts and feelings are these days.  And anything you may wish to discuss about your wife (or ex).

Warmly,
Gems

[2020]

What a surprise!  I enjoyed your writing Red. I trust life is treating you as well as can be expected. Please stick around!