BEHAVIORS: Rejection sensitivity (impulsive aggression)?

[BPDFamily.com]

I am kind of the opposite. If i perceive that I am being rejected or feeling unloved by a person, especially a person i sincerely care about, i normally blame it on myself. I withdraw from that person and don't tell them why, which i know hurts them, but i never lash out. I lash IN. I hurt myself, and blame myself. it is normally something along the lines of "why am i like this? i will just stay away from everyone, because they wont understand and i will just get more hurt. besides, it will be easier for them, because they wont have to deal with me." is there any part of your book that talks about this? about those that withdraw instead of lashing out?

[neszagirl89]

I am kind of the opposite. If i perceive that I am being rejected or feeling unloved by a person, especially a person i sincerely care about, i normally blame it on myself. I withdraw from that person and don't tell them why, which i know hurts them, but i never lash out. I lash IN. I hurt myself, and blame myself. it is normally something along the lines of "why am i like this? i will just stay away from everyone, because they wont understand and i will just get more hurt. besides, it will be easier for them, because they wont have to deal with me." is there any part of your book that talks about this? about those that withdraw instead of lashing out?

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[itscomplicated]

Hi Neszagirl89:

i was just with involved with someone who reacted like you describe.   We only had one incident where we fought.   Every other incident that we had involved him  imploding into himself, shutting down  and removing himself.   I used to say 'how come you put me on time out, why do you punish me like that'?   He said, 'its not to punish you, its to protect you'.   

He's not talking to me right now b/c he has told me 'i'm not as advertised'. Kinda like what you said in the earlier post about not telling people exactly what you are like prior for fear of rejection.    He told me 'he could be difficult' , moody like you said.

I have seen him when he goes through these periods of extreme self loathing  and  withdraws but before they only lasted for a couple of days.  This one has lasted a couple of weeks.     I once asked him how it improves his life to not have me in it and his response was: It doesn't improve my life, it's to improve your life.  You deserve a better guy.  Exactly just what you said.

So is there anything that a loved one or family member would be able to say to you that would let you know that aren't being rejected or unloved?  Or that they do want to be with you?   

Thanks for your candor here.  Please know that is very painful for those that love the BPD and want to be with them to be shut out when we don't understand what we have done or what has happened.     

[misdiagnosed]

I am new here and hoping I can find some info on a few key criteria used to diagnose BPD. I went through a horrific experience with my ex husband who I believe has some psychopathic traits but not enough to label him as one.  uring the experience he used his medical expertise to have me diagnosed with BPD. I gave since been re-diagnosed as not having the condition. As I am coming to terms with the trauma of what happened and why psychiatrists have diagnosed me under his lies and deceit and pretty made me fearful of the profession as a result I have been searching online and need clarification.

So far I have learned that a lot of people are misdiagnosed with BPD as other mental health illnesses based on the "fuzzy" assumptions and perhaps wrongly interpretating the symptoms.

That BPD symptoms tend to be mixed up with other symptoms and overlap them.

My question is about the feelings of abandonment both real or unreal and their reaction to it.  What exactly does this mean? And what do they mean by intense emotional states?