"I could say a million things... .or I could say nothing... .in a few simple words... .yeah it was a terrible waste... ."
Dems fightin' words to a Borderline!... .all she'll hear is blame. But then, that's what you intended, right? Just be aware that Borderlines do not understand victimization unless it is
their own- so your blame, (which casts you as a victim) will be perceived as persecutorial.
This cloak of blame that you cast off on to her may have been her intention all along- as a testing of the disorder to see if you were open to sadistically responding- so she could feel a sense of masochism. Her disorder relies on a level of private thinking, feeling and decision making that is based on early childhood decisions and parental training. That's a script running inside her mind.
While your intention in the beginning of the relationship was helpful, hers was a subconscious manipulation with a hidden agenda. This was, and has always been, her intent. Life with a Borderline always has a scripted position and a primary drama switch from rescuer to persecutor to victim. Two people can't be in the same position for long, at the same time.
The switch happens when you least expect it- and sometimes in hindsight you'll think- gee how did I get here? Whatever role that you do NOT know
how to do well will be the one that gets to you most... .With Borderline Personality disorder, for most of us, that role is the sadism- the persecutor role. That role is unacceptable (misunderstood: how can I be the persecutor? WTH?) from the victim indication. To reach out- persevere and be vulnerable are all positive aspects that are turned into sadistic criticisms by a Borderline.
There's nothing you can do to change this. The Borderline has a scripted favorable position- Victim. You will never usurp her from her throne.
Don't prove her right about the persecutor. Dont send a response. Your silence speaks volumes.
