So after less than our 30 day break up I find this out

[ufoureah]

She did it... .

she went back to her ex and had sex... .

The same one she was going to visit when we first met... going back after breaking up 4 months prior and a rebound with a friend...

I met her 4 days before she was flying out to see if they still had it... .

She told me she was not available . But after she landed Tuesday and slept with her ex... she called me in The AM to tell me she was coming home to date me... .

She lied as to where she was staying. she said she was staying at her cousins when indeed she was staying in her exes house... .

She came back home and we slept toogether hours after she landed.

I feel like a dirty pig for having done that... yuck... .

she has villinized her ex over the course of our relationship... idolized her also ... her ex called every flipping day to talk... I was told to deal with it...

she has been furious... put land in her exes city on the market so she can move out of AZ completely and be here and present.

Now that I am the villain...

She has gone back... .and now her ex is wearing the crown!

the angels are singing! hah

Let her DARE attemp to try and come this way... .

I find that such piggish behavior... .

I am at my best behaviour... trying to be friends.

Let her dare try to get back into her life... Oh I will let her in ... only to get a glimpse of what could have been.

she will be salivating and I will NOT take her back I never do particularly after she sleeps with someone else.

I broke NC after 10 days and was so supportive. she was icecold saying how she isnt ready... but almost to see me...

Let her wait...

I felt like an absolute hit_ for not knowing she saw her ex... grrrr

So Iam training for a half marathon... I have lost 12 lbs... Iam getting in shape meeting all kinds of new friends.

getting ready to take 2 worldly trips eating well

and now Iam moving into the angry stage!

Iam still vasilating... but iam getting there

Iam going to be so pissed and work even harder to get over this crazyness.

Wish me luck!

and yes Iam a woman too

D... .

thank you guys I need your help

[ArtistGuy70]

I hear you.

My exgf of five years had her married boss on the side. Who knows how many times she cheated on me? Once we were on our break (not even broken up totally), she went away for the weekend with him to a high priced resort. She also got money and gifts. Yes, she's a whore in that way.

It seems that borderlines always have another rescuer on the side or one they are ready to run to (usually an ex) when we are devalued.

I am in the angry stage still after 12 weeks. Stay strong. Stay NC.

Remember, this is about them. It is not a reflection on you why she cheated.

[GlennT]

 Good Luck!

[Amdis]

i hear you on that level. My BPDex had two of her other ex's on a short leash as well and dating me too, what a whore. I have been NC for a week now and my life is so better without her drama.

[ufoureah]

Now that she has slept with her ex... .

I cannot ever touch her again...

She does not want me anyway... she says we are over... our characters are not right...

wait til she sees me next...

well wait she cannot see me yet... because I am dangerous... .I called her a freak when we broke up over a month ago...

D... .

[angry hurt]

Because my Ex had been in jail. I kept a close eye on her everyway I could. Not the way to start a relationship I know but I was hooked and hoped I could change her . Anyway. I saw all of her face book inbox conversations. With exes and talking dirty to potential one night stands. Later as the roller coaster ride went along I found a secret email from her ex boss whom was ment to be her mate. Refering to meeting for sex. Even talking about her ex in a way she painted him black. I saw her converstaions with this ex how she had him pining for her. "I miss you babe. Are you with anyone yet?"

After our rollercoaster ride stopped she even went to visit her ex miles away. He paid for her flight . He showed her a good time. He lost everything because of her. She stole over £10k form him. She slept with his friends. He still takes her back even after over 18 month of not seeing her.

She's now back with the victim whom she gave a bit of rope to after I kicked her out our home. She has cheated on him and probably even stolen from him. He is totaly unaware of the ride he is on now.

Anyway I went through alot coming to terms with all this. You have to keep your mind occupied. I did the wrong thing by numbing it all with alcohol . After the numbness fades the mind returns to where you left off at the last drink. Time is the healer.

It will pass

[angry hurt]

Now that she has slept with her ex... .

I cannot ever touch her again...

She does not want me anyway... she says we are over... our characters are not right...

wait til she sees me next...

well wait she cannot see me yet... because I am dangerous... .I called her a freak when we broke up over a month ago...

D... .

I've to called her a freak. A few times now. After we first broke up and I was realising what her crazy world was like. She said to me " what's wrong ? are you missing me ? " I told her "OF COURSE I'M MISSING YOU. IT'S ONLY NATURAL ! YOU FREAK"

[2010]

Let her dare try to get back into her life... Oh I will let her in ... only to get a glimpse of what could have been. well wait she cannot see me yet... because I am dangerous...

Borderline Disorder continues along on denial and moves around a triangle by forcibly splitting people, things (the World) and themselves into good/bad representations. The more you fight with them (or in your case, declare yourself "dangerous" the more you are justifying their split of you as a bad object, now- presumably, a "dangerously" bad object. Interaction causes the bad object to get devalued and makes the rewarding object pedestal-like and highly valued.

Knowing what you do about Borderline and figuring this out- wouldn't it be fair to say that:

1) She never left the Ex. The thinking that she did was your idea of reference.

2) She never left You. Thinking that she did was the Ex's idea of reference.

3) Borderline is a behavioral pattern of seeking out attachments- even while presumably attached to a partner. The outcome happens to everyone connected.  It is not about sex. It is about fending off the anxiety felt about being without a partner (and fear of dying alone) and about being *with* a partner (and kept as a slave.)

4) If everyone connected is psychologically harmed by the back and forth of this person- then wouldn't it be a good time to draw boundaries and stop the back and forth show and tell?

You are the one without the disorder here. You must draw boundaries and stop the insanity. Dont invite a Borderline personality back into your life after they've harmed you- only to prove a point about what they'll be missing. The only "danger" here is the danger you are to yourself if you dont disengage and stop trying to prove how hurt you are to a person who doesn't understand empathy.