i can see both sides of this coin... .
I totally agree with skip... .if they break nc do we all rant about how dysfunctional they are etc, have no boundaries and all the other traits of a pwBPD. And it is all true. These people are mentally ill and it does not justify the way they treat people most definitely... .but... .its kinda like asking a lion to not act like a lion, or a shark to not act like a shark.
These people have this illness (not out of choice) and there is no pills or injections or other ways to medicate and make it go away. They react as a defense mechanism, which basically is a selfish way to stop themselves hurting... .unfortunately it destroys everyone around them ( i was one of these people! ), I dont think they ever stop to think of the outcome of their actions... .and just bounce around like a pinball off different "caretakers"... .
BUT... .I can also see why fogbound had to do this... .I have been following your posts and you really got torn a new one!
I was there about 7 months ago and reading about your pain was so similar to mine. I wont bore you with it all as its the past for me, and what happened, happened. I can see why you needed some sort of validation, and seems you got it. I don't think this is dysfunctional, its a defense mechanism to validate you was worth something... .and i can see that, the same as she has her defense mechanisms.
The only thing i would say would make you dysfunctional would be to chase this up further. It would be like someone saying " if you look round that corner someone will shoot your head clean off" and then having a look
And in all honesty after reading your posts if you was to come on here and post that you went back after the new "boss" kicked her to the kerb and then she ruined you again, i would expect everyone on here to tear you another new one!
But as much as skip makes a very very true statement ( have read any of skips posts and he has helped me a lot, without even knowing it
), i can say i am happy you got something back from her... .only something very small, but it may help you on your recovery which would be worth that text a thousand times over!
Good luck to you... .