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VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?" Parental alienation is when a parent allows a child to participate or hear them degrade the other parent. This is not uncommon in divorces and the children often adjust. In severe cases, however, it can be devastating to the child. This video provides a helpful overview.
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Author Topic: Fascinating videos on Psychopaths..  (Read 1694 times)
MM
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« on: March 06, 2011, 08:42:31 PM »

www.youtube.com/watch?v=pFM0dUpL66c&feature=related
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Marcie
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« Reply #1 on: March 06, 2011, 11:12:15 PM »

Thank-u for sharing!
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zman
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« Reply #2 on: March 07, 2011, 01:29:31 AM »

awesome link! thank you
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MM
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« Reply #3 on: March 07, 2011, 02:21:21 AM »

Full video... .

www.youtube.com/watch?v=MgGyvxqYSbE&feature=related
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loastinspace
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« Reply #4 on: March 07, 2011, 08:10:14 AM »

An interesting link, but I don't think BPD's are psychopaths.
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MM
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« Reply #5 on: March 07, 2011, 08:35:09 AM »

An interesting link, but I don't think BPD's are psychopaths.

They share some traits though... .
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loastinspace
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« Reply #6 on: March 07, 2011, 09:58:22 AM »

Many mental illnesses share traits, I think it's important not to group them all together tho.  Some BPD's may also be psychopaths, but psychopathy is not the same as BPD, so I just worry about people mislabeling people.  We have all been hurt by someone with BPD, but I don't want to vilify them with the word psychopath.
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The Ride
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« Reply #7 on: March 07, 2011, 10:33:33 AM »

Great videos, thanks!
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samedeepwaterasu
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« Reply #8 on: March 07, 2011, 08:31:44 PM »

Great vids... watched all 3 and YES BPD's ARE PSYCHOPATHS.  They are usually the "victims" but they are psychopaths.  Psychopaths live by the reality THEY perceive and create.  BPD's do the exact same thing with their feelings.  Both would do ANYTHING to destroy a perceived threat and they are very resistant to facts that counter their delusions, usually not able to absorb the new information at all unless they are confronted by multiple people.  Both, in my exp, have the same fear: EXPOSURE.  BPD's are PSYCHOPATHS.

If you've ever had a chance to feel the true power and rashness of their actions AFTER they've blackened you lostinspace... .how counter it could be to their personality... .their moral system and everything they'd valued with love and friendship... .and how they're still willing to do whatever is possible, even punitively to you after they've gone so far to label you a threat... .you'd see how "similar trait-ed" these two really are.
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loastinspace
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« Reply #9 on: March 07, 2011, 08:46:22 PM »

They will do whatever they need to protect themselves, that isn't psychopathic.  They have awareness that what they are doing is wrong, psychopaths don't.  They split to avoid taking responsibility of their actions, but in order to have to do that, they have to know their behaviour is wrong.  They are not absolved of the awful things they do and BPD is not a legal criminal defense.  If you choose to paint them with the broad brush of psychopathy, it suddenly becomes you painting them black.

I have been the target of a lot of really awful behaviour and endured a lot of pain.  I look am learning to look at my ex with indifference.  I have been angry, sad, frustrated, hurt and dispaired, but I won't paint her as something she isn't.  The symptoms may look the same, but the disorder is not.

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samedeepwaterasu
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« Reply #10 on: March 07, 2011, 08:51:52 PM »

They will do whatever they need to protect themselves, that isn't psychopathic.  They have awareness that what they are doing is wrong, psychopaths don't.  They split to avoid taking responsibility of their actions, but in order to have to do that, they have to know their behaviour is wrong.  They are not absolved of the awful things they do and BPD is not a legal criminal defense.  If you choose to paint them with the broad brush of psychopathy, it suddenly becomes you painting them black.

I have been the target of a lot of really awful behaviour and endured a lot of pain.  I look am learning to look at my ex with indifference.  I have been angry, sad, frustrated, hurt and dispaired, but I won't paint her as something she isn't.  The symptoms may look the same, but the disorder is not.

So you would knowingly do EVERYTHING you thought was wrong?  As a human, that doesn't make any sense.  I'm not painting anyone black... .I am weighting what they as humans are capable of WITHOUT looking back... .even if they're only doing it inside themselves.  I don't care what or if they feel anything inside... .they perform these actions w/o a care in the world based off of a delusion.  That's a PSYCHOPATH.  So maybe they get a moment of clarity and reach back for you or try to attone... .where was it then... .and how long will that take.  Painting people black and trying to destroy everything about them to protect yourself and the means to which you would do this... .over a FEELING!... .is psychotic.

The only thing my ex was afraid of in the end... .was what all psychopaths are... .EXPOSURE.  Again... .both know it is wrong but put up walls... .facades... .delusions to justify demented thoughts and behaviors.  I know we can't see the people we've loved in this way... but look at how quick and hard they change... .when you're not longer the most important thing in their lives... .even if that was a delusion too.  Again, not painting anything black/white... .just telling you their capability.
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loastinspace
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« Reply #11 on: March 07, 2011, 08:53:55 PM »

I'm not going to argue with you.  Your BPD may well have been a psychopath.  However, they are very different things.  We have all been hurt by someone, but that doesn't make them a psychopath.  It's wrong to assign a word that has such strong implications to someone, no matter how much they hurt you.
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samedeepwaterasu
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« Reply #12 on: March 07, 2011, 08:56:19 PM »

I'm not going to argue with you.  Your BPD may well have been a psychopath.  However, they are very different things.  We have all been hurt by someone, but that doesn't make them a psychopath.  It's wrong to assign a word that has such strong implications to someone, no matter how much they hurt you.

Not really... .if it fits a percentage... .and from the stories I've read here.  I mean, srsly, I thought NONE could get worst than mine... .and I was FLOORED!  There is NO way you can't say that the majority of BPD's are psychopaths.  And I'm not being mean... .I am weighing the actions... .not the power of that word.  If it walks like a duck and quacks... .they're quacked.
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loastinspace
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« Reply #13 on: March 07, 2011, 09:02:42 PM »

The term psychopathy was purposefully separated from personality disorders for the very reason that the stigma attached to the word was not a fair assessment of the patients states.  You can use it if you want and people can jump on the bandwagon with you, but I think it is wrong to do so.  I won't be that person.
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samedeepwaterasu
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« Reply #14 on: March 07, 2011, 09:13:00 PM »

The term psychopathy was purposefully separated from personality disorders for the very reason that the stigma attached to the word was not a fair assessment of the patients states.  You can use it if you want and people can jump on the bandwagon with you, but I think it is wrong to do so.  I won't be that person.

Okay... .how would you deem the actions of BPD's you've seen here?  Seemingly "in the moment", no remorse, and in many cases, CRIMINAL?  You put a label on it then.  Yeah, let's be PC about it.  I won't be labeled a black/whiter... cause I've had to relay as well as accept much grey in the black/white both in the r/s and on these boards.  I always think in grey... .but if I'm going to sugar-coat this for them, just b/c I know a "couple" of BPDers that are "trying"... .then I enable all the other ones to which this label should stick.  Maybe if there were braver people that would apply this stigma... .the actions would be checked A PRIORI!  and we'd have a more balanced world and wouldn't worry about bumping into each other... or an argument to lead to an affair then a coverup being a warrant issued for your arrest for in some cases here, A FALSE RAPE ACCUSATION!
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Marcie
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« Reply #15 on: March 07, 2011, 09:18:57 PM »

 The only thing my ex was afraid of in the end... .was what all psychopaths are... .EXPOSURE.


I agree with this. This is my experience anyway
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samedeepwaterasu
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« Reply #16 on: March 07, 2011, 09:38:14 PM »

The only thing my ex was afraid of in the end... .was what all psychopaths are... .EXPOSURE.


I agree with this. This is my experience anyway

Even as Marcie said all that needed to be said... .and I'm sure there's many more to attest... .I just say that I do feel for them... I really do.  They are in pain and they act out.  We as people try to not damn them, we try to work around them, and we try to be polite in both our judgments and diagnosis.  But as we move over so much for them, what do they do for us?  We watch out so much for their future and their well being... who watches out for us.  Everyone has their own weight to carry, and even if we're all not fully capable to carry it... .what is is really like to carry someone else's and get spit in the face for it... .be shamed for it, while they're still enacting a delusional war against you.  Maybe if they recognized more of the weight they place upon people, it would slow down more, and/or the normal people in general would tax more of a punishment socially/punitively for their actions, instead of simply telling them they'll be okay and their victims are right but overwrought, when they haven't walked a inch in their shoes.
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« Reply #17 on: March 07, 2011, 10:43:59 PM »

well, mine has all of the psychotic tendencies mentioned.  there must be a spectrum... .like everything else.  Exposure is huge... .also.

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loastinspace
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« Reply #18 on: March 07, 2011, 10:50:02 PM »

I haven't shared a fraction of the awful stuff my ex did to me.  I still won't brand her a psychopath.  Many people who suffer from BPD also suffer from many other mental illnesses or issues.  Not all BPD's exhibit violent or criminal behavior and I'm sure many also fit the dx criteria for psychopathy.  They do awful things, and they are responsible for their actions.  I make no excuses for them.

As for who looks out for you?  You do.  I chose to be with this person, and even though I didn't understand BPD, I knew she wasn't right.  I gave her all I had to give and more, and you are correct, I got dumped on the curbside for it like a sack of garbage.  I put up with lies, cheating, emotional abuse, threats, and false accusations and went back for 3 rounds.  I didn't look after me, and I take responsibility for that.  She will never take responsibility for anything unless she is looking for absolution.  She will not get that from me.  I am sure there will be another attempt at contact from her and when it comes all she will get is a simple message from me.  "I don't hate you, I don't feel anything for you".  That is all I have to say to her.  And despite all the pain, all the sleepless nights, all the anger and frustration, all the self doubt and self blame, all the awful things she has said to me, I still don't believe she is a psychopath.
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samedeepwaterasu
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« Reply #19 on: March 07, 2011, 10:56:25 PM »

I haven't shared a fraction of the awful stuff my ex did to me.  I still won't brand her a psychopath.  Many people who suffer from BPD also suffer from many other mental illnesses or issues.  Not all BPD's exhibit violent or criminal behavior and I'm sure many also fit the dx criteria for psychopathy.  They do awful things, and they are responsible for their actions.  I make no excuses for them.

As for who looks out for you?  You do.  I chose to be with this person, and even though I didn't understand BPD, I knew she wasn't right.  I gave her all I had to give and more, and you are correct, I got dumped on the curbside for it like a sack of garbage.  I put up with lies, cheating, emotional abuse, threats, and false accusations and went back for 3 rounds.  I didn't look after me, and I take responsibility for that.  She will never take responsibility for anything unless she is looking for absolution.  She will not get that from me.  I am sure there will be another attempt at contact from her and when it comes all she will get is a simple message from me.  "I don't hate you, I don't feel anything for you".  That is all I have to say to her.  And despite all the pain, all the sleepless nights, all the anger and frustration, all the self doubt and self blame, all the awful things she has said to me, I still don't believe she is a psychopath.

Okay in the who is responsible for looking out for the rest of us:  Me-1  Them-Everyone they can manipulate to fire upon ME!  I call that alone all I need to see to label them all PSYCHOPATHS.  If they'd know they did wrong, they wouldn't have to turn the whole world they can manipulate against me and us to absolve themselves... .even if it's for 30 seconds.  They need to be labelled appropriately so as children they hear the taunts of other psychopaths... and hear their actions w/out all the sugar coating... .w/o all of the understanding.  We all understand them... .it doesn't change the label.  I still think your ex is a psychopath.  Painting someone black out of a delusion and then acting out in ways that are destructive to you both is psychopathic.  I don't want to just have people committed... but there is a spectrum... .but it's still in the same label. 
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loastinspace
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« Reply #20 on: March 07, 2011, 11:23:56 PM »

We will have to disagree then.
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samedeepwaterasu
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« Reply #21 on: March 07, 2011, 11:27:06 PM »

And lostinspace.  I really have enjoyed your posts.  :)on't think ANY of this is against you, just the tactic used to confront mentally ill/deficient people.  It's horrible that we live with them and see the signs and are self-reflective and be responsible for our own well being, feelings, and actions; yet can get no help until they have proven to be willing and able to destroy EVERYTHING first.  Even then, it looks simply like sour grapes for us and some of these people put on such a good show... .wear such a good facade that we are truly without anything at the end, including our pride.  We've both had horrible experiences, but have learned different things from it.  I respect your candor, and love a good debate.  Please note that I bear no ill or ever did towards you.  Thank you all!
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« Reply #22 on: March 07, 2011, 11:35:15 PM »

Ha!  Certainly no ill will on my part.  Everyone on these boards has a valid opinion.   We've all spent far too much time holding our opinions in.  I could never express anything negative to my ex, because I knew where it would lead.  The fear of losing someone over an opinion is something I hope to never experience again.  I'm sure we all understand the feeling of walking on eggshells, and god forbid anyone ever does it here.  This is our safe place, where hopefully we can all learn to express ourselves freely and without fear.  We are all bonded by shared experience and that is a bond that has done great things for me over the few weeks I've been here.  Your view and opinions are appreciated and a healthy debate is just that, healthy!  Take care my friend =)
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« Reply #23 on: March 08, 2011, 09:40:50 AM »

So, just curious, how would you define a psychopath?  What would you have to see that would tip the scale for you?  I get the spectrum... .haven't looked it up in DSMIV lately... .so Functioning Psychopaths?  does that exist... .like a functioning alcoholic... .which i don't think exists... .just depends on your definition of functioning?   Spectrum is all i can say... .spectrum... .and we get at that by behaviors.   Most think psychopaths have outlandish behavior and are extremely damaging to most, a history of it... .big violence... .

anyways... .you are all probably done with this discussion but just wanted to know what would tip the scale for the non who just wont use the word, even in cyberspace with regards to BPD:))  much love and i know all too well that we could all get in trouble, sued, for using any clinical word to describe another person unless we hold a license to do so.

with much respect,   Flash
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« Reply #24 on: March 08, 2011, 10:30:16 AM »

I'm no expert, but I don't think psychopaths have any cognition of right from wrong.  They can't distinguish between moral and immoral behavior.  I think BPD's know right from wrong, but their need to self protect overrides their moral barometer.  The psychopath doesn't self examine, the BPD does.

An example of this would be suicidal moments.  When a BPD is suicidal it is because they loath themselves, when a psychopath is suicidal, it is because they see no winning scenario (ie. Hitler in the bunker with the war lost).
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« Reply #25 on: March 09, 2011, 08:46:30 AM »

agreed... .agreed.   that would be a huge difference... .huge in my mind.  knowing right from wrong adds to their outlandish behavior... .what a weird, weird, thing.  ... .seriously... .i;d love for someone to do a study on the organic make up of BPD's, the brain function,  both functional... .whatever that really means, and the more suicidal... .types.

thanks again... .and that really is key. 
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« Reply #26 on: March 09, 2011, 09:10:08 AM »

i'm with loastinspace on this one.  BPD is not psychopathy. psychopaths hurt people without remorse.  BPD often engage in self destructive behavior to cover up the remorse.  My ex cut into her own flesh because of the guilt she felt. once she did, it was gone (for the moment) because that pain was over-riding the guilt. 

If they didn't know what they did was wrong, the suicide rate wouldn't be so high. 

Our exes were hit_s. no doubt. self absorbed, myopic children even.  however... .they still know right from wrong.  primal instincts override that conscience.

As a tongue in cheek aside, I like to think of my ex's mom as a demon (the woman really was a psychopath - i mean, we're talking dozens of men on the side and she is still nostalgic about it to this day with no remorse) and her dad as a decent guy (he makes puns. he can do no wrong).  so she ended up as half demon.  She got her dad's conscience and her mom's hell. And it tears her apart.

I think someone mentioned in a different thread:

sociopath = no conscience + free will

BPD = no free will + conscience
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« Reply #27 on: March 09, 2011, 11:38:43 AM »

Just another point on topic.  The disorder was original called 'borderline psychopath', before it was changed.  When the illness was first being described, the psychologists working with it recognized the psychotic behaviors, but understood it wasn't true psychosis... .thus the word borderline.
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« Reply #28 on: March 09, 2011, 11:47:18 AM »

An interesting link, but I don't think BPD's are psychopaths.

Thank You loastinspace,

You don't know what a relief it is to know that at least one person out there hasn't been "seeing" my wife.

LaoWho
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« Reply #29 on: March 09, 2011, 02:22:56 PM »

A recent study has highlighted a strong link between BPD & psychopathy in women in particular...

An Examination of Borderline Personality Disorder and Secondary Psychopathy Across Genders by Dr. Edelyn Verona.

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