BPD and long term relationships

[Beware of Junk Psychology...]

Yes/no! Treatment for BPD is called dialectal behavioral therapy and the core lesson is mindfulness. Being mindful that things are the way they are because it's fact. BPDs get caught up in the emotion v fact due to childhood trauma and conditioning.

Untreated BPDs feel the shame of a lost r/s but don't equate it with their actions - they are not always mindful of what went wrong. BPDs block certain emotions/events to protect themselves against further hurt/pain - the pain they feel is what we feel but magnified enormously because they have experienced a huge amount of childhood trauma and received no validation/comfort in the process.

Simply put they feel pain from a perceived injustice, have no tools to sort thorough it rationally so use maladaptive coping skills (sex, drugs for example) to self soothe.

Recovering BPDs of course develop mindfulness, recall past trauma, process it, accept it, realize it's not their fault and heal. If you poke around psychforum.com there are many recovering BPDs who are aware of the chaos they cause and don't feel good about it. I commend them on their strength to face it and do the work to heal. It is my guess that there may be still some set backs even though they are recovered. It's a lifelong process. We never stop learning - there would be something wrong if we did - I call it emotional inertia - nothing good can come of that.

We self soothe more or less instinctively without having to project it onto someone else - to take the pain away. In BPDs this is underdeveloped.

Of course this is simplified... .

[Clearmind]

Yes/no! Treatment for BPD is called dialectal behavioral therapy and the core lesson is mindfulness. Being mindful that things are the way they are because it's fact. BPDs get caught up in the emotion v fact due to childhood trauma and conditioning.

Untreated BPDs feel the shame of a lost r/s but don't equate it with their actions - they are not always mindful of what went wrong. BPDs block certain emotions/events to protect themselves against further hurt/pain - the pain they feel is what we feel but magnified enormously because they have experienced a huge amount of childhood trauma and received no validation/comfort in the process.

Simply put they feel pain from a perceived injustice, have no tools to sort thorough it rationally so use maladaptive coping skills (sex, drugs for example) to self soothe.

Recovering BPDs of course develop mindfulness, recall past trauma, process it, accept it, realize it's not their fault and heal. If you poke around psychforum.com there are many recovering BPDs who are aware of the chaos they cause and don't feel good about it. I commend them on their strength to face it and do the work to heal. It is my guess that there may be still some set backs even though they are recovered. It's a lifelong process. We never stop learning - there would be something wrong if we did - I call it emotional inertia - nothing good can come of that.

We self soothe more or less instinctively without having to project it onto someone else - to take the pain away. In BPDs this is underdeveloped.

Of course this is simplified... .

[eeyore]

Untreated BPDs feel the shame of a lost r/s but don't equate it with their actions - they are not always mindful of what went wrong. BPDs block certain emotions/events to protect themselves against further hurt/pain - the pain they feel is what we feel but magnified enormously because they have experienced a huge amount of childhood trauma and received no validation/comfort in the process.

Simply put they feel pain from a perceived injustice, have no tools to sort thorough it rationally so use maladaptive coping skills (sex, drugs for example) to self soothe.

We self soothe more or less instinctively without having to project it onto someone else - to take the pain away. In BPDs this is underdeveloped.

i totally agree!  thanks!