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Author Topic: Today's the day- exBPDw birthday So difficult maintaining NC.  (Read 268 times)

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 13

« on: September 17, 2017, 10:05:14 AM »

I'm sure those reading this post will chalk it up to trite, relative to the real pain and distress expressed by others here. I suppose if anything it may serve as an example that with time and NC you can feel better and move forward. Not to paint an optimistic rosy picture but I'm certainly way further than I was when we separated early June. I was like most of you NON's sharing your stories a complete mess!

So today had arrived, her birthday and the singular day that she seemed to be extra sensitive about? Always calling out that people in her life, particularly her step mom and other family members/friends never seemed to go out of her way to recognize the fact that it was her birthday- in her mind of course.

So I made sure in our seven years together that today would be all about her and then some, I made sure to spoil her in every way and I relished in doing so.

Today I resist the temptation to message her, to drop something off at her door or some other low key expression that I haven't forgotten her birthday. Her best friends birthday coincidentally was yesterday, I even struggled as to whether or not to send her a best wish? I did and she replied with a simple thank you as I was fond of her which kind of made my day.

Of course the fact that my replacement is likely lavishing attention on her today truly pains me- its unbearable : (

So NC it is, I know its the best for both her and I no matter how awful it is for me. I wonder if she will even think of me today? As black as I am, my gut is saying no, the out of sight out of mind thing is surely in play here.

Today I will focus on me, laundry, clean the house, go for a long walk maybe go out tonight?

Happy Birthday to my beautiful sweetie, my beautifully flawed BPD partner of seven years- At least I can allow myself to say it to the “universe” in hopes that my faint words reach her ears.

Harley Quinn
Retired Staff
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 2838

I am exactly where I need to be, right now.

« Reply #1 on: September 17, 2017, 05:56:55 PM »

Hi damenlost,

Feel proud of yourself for doing other things.  I hope that you have decided to go out and do something enjoyable to take your mind off this in a way that also benefits your well being.  It's so difficult around special occasions and many members struggle with these times, which is natural.  It is the same following the death of a loved one.  These times flood us with memories and emotions.  Stay strong and focus on you.  It's a forward step and they can be scary when we are venturing down a new and unknown path, but these steps add up and can take us to somewhere better of our choosing.  Make it good.

Love and light x 

We are stars wrapped in skin.  The light you are looking for has always been within.

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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 31

« Reply #2 on: September 19, 2017, 07:30:37 AM »

I salute You. You are way stronger than I can imagine myself being.

You were together for SEVEN yeaers. You clearly still have feeling for Her. She's in different relationship and at the top of that it was her b-day. And yet You kept Yourself together and didn't broke NC! You really should be proud of Yourself!
I can't imagine when my exs b-day will come... .It's even worse knowing that her b-day are the same day as Valentines. And this knowledge and the fact the she'll celebrate that day with her new boyfriend in their new apartment... .is killing me. I hope You'll maintain that strenght. Keep going on man!


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