More excuses to re-connect again?... wth

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

A week ago, I told my exBPDgf not to contact me anymore. I made sure I addressed any outstanding questions about any belongings, in the hope there would be nothing for her to attempt reconnecting over. I had said my Mom would make arrangements to pick up my pet cat when the time comes because I cannot have it with me while I am trying to find a new place to live. Last thing I had heard about my cat was 'She is doing good' prior to my telling her to leave me alone. Well... .today my Mom received a message via Facebook that my cat was 'Bullying her cat, and pooped on her table'. I find this highly unlikely, as both cats are very well litter box trained and there was NEVER any 'bullying' going on, they both got on quite well and played together often. This seems to me to be another lame attempt to get in contact with me again, and since I do not believe any of her lies anymore(of which there were many), I am less than inclined to take this seriously. There is obviously nothing I can do, even if it were true. This really makes me mad to be honest. I'm not sure there is any advice that can be given, I guess I needed to vent a little bit over the frustration yet again as soon as I think I'm rid of her for good here comes another contact attempt. Any opinions? :/

[trellabor]

A week ago, I told my exBPDgf not to contact me anymore. I made sure I addressed any outstanding questions about any belongings, in the hope there would be nothing for her to attempt reconnecting over. I had said my Mom would make arrangements to pick up my pet cat when the time comes because I cannot have it with me while I am trying to find a new place to live. Last thing I had heard about my cat was 'She is doing good' prior to my telling her to leave me alone. Well... .today my Mom received a message via Facebook that my cat was 'Bullying her cat, and pooped on her table'. I find this highly unlikely, as both cats are very well litter box trained and there was NEVER any 'bullying' going on, they both got on quite well and played together often. This seems to me to be another lame attempt to get in contact with me again, and since I do not believe any of her lies anymore(of which there were many), I am less than inclined to take this seriously. There is obviously nothing I can do, even if it were true. This really makes me mad to be honest. I'm not sure there is any advice that can be given, I guess I needed to vent a little bit over the frustration yet again as soon as I think I'm rid of her for good here comes another contact attempt. Any opinions? :/

[2010]

"I told my exBPDgf not to contact me anymore."

"today my Mom received a message via Facebook about" (the cat.)

"I had said my Mom would make arrangements to pick up my pet cat when the time comes."

The time has come. Why is your Mother not following through? The proper email response would be a time, place and location to retrieve the cat.

[trellabor]

If I could take it with me, I would have. The cat cannot be allowed where I am staying. I'm not going to delve into the entire story again, I moved out because of the constant lying/cheating that had been going on for months, the verbal abuse, etc etc. I could just tell her to keep it I guess, I would miss my cat a lot but perhaps it would be better to just have it over with.

[trellabor]

I guess what is odd about it is only a couple of weeks ago my ex said specifically 'Your cat can stay here as long as you need her to, she's doing great.' and had no issue with keeping her until I got situated which was the agreement. now all of a sudden after I ask her not to contact me there are 'issues' which never were before and she's asking my mother to help her find another home for my cat if I can't take her? I'd love to just get her out of there and be done, it sucks so bad I can only imagine how difficult it is for those of you guys out there with children stuck in the middle of these situations, I really feel for you. I guess there was a part of her message that my mom didn't tell me about until just now... .my ex told her she still has 'feelings for me'. I want to cry. :'(

[Clearmind]

Trellabor, you are right she is trying to reengage you and the common thread is the cat. Can your mom take the cat temporarily? Your ex having the cat is providing an opportunity to reengage so remove any commonality so this won't happen.

Your ex having feelings is natural. You guys broke up. You both need to heal independent of one another   

[trellabor]

Trellabor, you are right she is trying to reengage you and the common thread is the cat. Can your mom take the cat temporarily? Your ex having the cat is providing an opportunity to reengage so remove any commonality so this won't happen.

Your ex having feelings is natural. You guys broke up. You both need to heal independent of one another   

Thank you CM. I'm trying to figure out where I can take my cat for the time being. I hate the push-pull she does with me, it's always been the most constant thing between us. I hope I can get this over with soon, I thought as 2 adults we could at least have an agreement to keep things civil but obviously I was mistaken. I have my appointment tomorrow morning with my T so maybe I'll have a clearer head about it afterward.