Ex-bf gets a wake up call - gets a trip to the ER

[VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?"]

While my uBPD xbf and I had a drama-free holiday weekend, today he went out and bought a "bottle".

Things never go well when he starts a new week drinking in the afternoon.

While I was laying down with a headache, the ex was in some room of the apt. making noise (thought he was playing the Xbox) - but evidently he had picked up one of his knives and started playing with it.

No matter how many times I asked, begged, pleaded with him to not play with them - especially while he's been drinking - well because he doesn't have a problem and all the problems are mine...    

Tonight was different.  He cut his hand so badly that he could not stop the bleeding.  Stumbled around bleeding badly and woke me up by stumbling against my closed door.   He asked me to drive him to the hospital, but he couldn't get himself together enough to put a pair of pants on (he was wearing shorts) and shoes.

I wrapped his hand up in a towel and called 911.  2 squad cars showed up, wanted to know what the deal was with all the knives.    I explained that he liked to "play" with them when he got drunk - and while he was not violent or aggressive towards me - he was dangerous to himself when he drank.  The cops took all of his knives away, and even asked me about the kitchen knives.

They called the EMTs and took him away in an ambulance.   I went to see him in the ER and they were waiting for him to sober up before they would stitch his hand.  Of course he was "fine" and was complaining that he didn't have insurance or money to pay the hospital bill (his primary concern, of course) and that they should just stitch him up and let him leave.

I talked to the nurse (or maybe she was an NP?) and told her that he was not a violent person, but definitely needed help and had a history of psychiatric issues.

I am crossing my fingers that he does not fake out the eval, and that somehow, someway... .well... .    I'm sort of scared and freaked out right now because if they do let him out I feel that he'll just go buy another bottle tomorrow and he could just go off and try to kill himself for real.  At least now I have a police report, and a photo of a bloody floor to show my landlord should I need to break my lease early.

I can only pray, hope, wish with every ounce of my being that the doc will see through my ex's talk... .but he's such a con artist... .   :'(

[samsara]

While my uBPD xbf and I had a drama-free holiday weekend, today he went out and bought a "bottle".

Things never go well when he starts a new week drinking in the afternoon.

While I was laying down with a headache, the ex was in some room of the apt. making noise (thought he was playing the Xbox) - but evidently he had picked up one of his knives and started playing with it.

No matter how many times I asked, begged, pleaded with him to not play with them - especially while he's been drinking - well because he doesn't have a problem and all the problems are mine...    

Tonight was different.  He cut his hand so badly that he could not stop the bleeding.  Stumbled around bleeding badly and woke me up by stumbling against my closed door.   He asked me to drive him to the hospital, but he couldn't get himself together enough to put a pair of pants on (he was wearing shorts) and shoes.

I wrapped his hand up in a towel and called 911.  2 squad cars showed up, wanted to know what the deal was with all the knives.    I explained that he liked to "play" with them when he got drunk - and while he was not violent or aggressive towards me - he was dangerous to himself when he drank.  The cops took all of his knives away, and even asked me about the kitchen knives.

They called the EMTs and took him away in an ambulance.   I went to see him in the ER and they were waiting for him to sober up before they would stitch his hand.  Of course he was "fine" and was complaining that he didn't have insurance or money to pay the hospital bill (his primary concern, of course) and that they should just stitch him up and let him leave.

I talked to the nurse (or maybe she was an NP?) and told her that he was not a violent person, but definitely needed help and had a history of psychiatric issues.

I am crossing my fingers that he does not fake out the eval, and that somehow, someway... .well... .    I'm sort of scared and freaked out right now because if they do let him out I feel that he'll just go buy another bottle tomorrow and he could just go off and try to kill himself for real.  At least now I have a police report, and a photo of a bloody floor to show my landlord should I need to break my lease early.

I can only pray, hope, wish with every ounce of my being that the doc will see through my ex's talk... .but he's such a con artist... .   :'(

[artdeco]

oh I do feel your pain and your hope... .my xbf ending up in Er and a stint in a phys ward, and like you i am praying that he can be treated. He now seems to understand that he is ill. And its not everyone else's fault

he starts T on the 4th of next month so heres hoping

hope is sometimes all we have and I never want to be bitter and vile about him he but he is ill but is not easy

[2010]

Samsara, Perhaps the moderators can move your post to the staying board where it will receive a better response. The detaching board would likely question why you want to stay with this Man after the police have been involved and felt obligated to remove the knives from the home.  I'm certain that they did that for your protection.  FWIW, the landlord does not need to see a photo of a bloody floor and a police report in order to break a lease.  Please consider finding separate living arrangements if you can. Good luck to you.

[ItsAboutTime]

Samsara, Perhaps the moderators can move your post to the staying board where it will receive a better response. The detaching board would likely question why you want to stay with this Man after the police have been involved and felt obligated to remove the knives from the home.  I'm certain that they did that for your protection.  FWIW, the landlord does not need to see a photo of a bloody floor and a police report in order to break a lease.  Please consider finding separate living arrangements if you can. Good luck to you.

This is exactly what I was thinking too. I was going to ask if you have a curb in front of your apartment and what day is trash day.  He's your 'ex', he's a drinker, he has time during the week to drink himself silly. Does he work? Is helping you or productive in any way by contributing something?

[samsara]

Oh I am definitely leaving... .

The problem is that I am stuck living with my exbf because we're on a lease together until May, and he is currently unemployed and will not leave.

So, I can't leave until my lease is up (because I'm currently the one paying the lion's share of the rent and utilities)

I feel bad for my ex, because I know he's ill, but don't get me wrong, Mr. Hyde makes my life a living hell.

In fact, as a follow up to last night, he did manage to charm his way out of getting locked up.  Only to call me and b*tch up a storm for not staying there and "waiting" for him (I had to run home and take care of the dog, they were waiting to treat him until he sobered up).  I had to explain to him that I DID call the hospital and they told me he was still being evaluated.    The nurse pulled me aside when I arrived and told me that I was absolutely right, as soon as the doctor arrived he turned on the charm machine and managed to convince everyone that it's perfectly normal to get drunk and play "ninja" with very sharp knives.

He was complaining that they let him sit there with an open wound in his hand for 2 hours, he complained they did not give him pain meds (gee... I wonder why... .drunk guy playing with knives... .sure let's give HIM a prescription for pain killers).  He complained again that he doesn't have insurance... .and so on... .

Being stuck in a living situation with him has been an absolute nightmare, but because of the lease laws in the state we reside in, it's next to impossible to leave before the lease is up without guaranteeing a trip to court and being held responsible for the balance of the lease.  (and at this point it's about 5 months left).   I pray for him to get help because it would help him be able to MOVE ON... .but that probably isn't going to happen, and he'll stick me with some sort of mess to clean up when the lease is up.    At least now I have a police report, and a photo that I can go to my landlord with - in the event my employer approves my request to become a remote employee, I can move out of state in 3 months (vs. 5) to be closer to my family (and far far away from Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde)

bleh... .

[ItsAboutTime]

With just 5 months of lease left to pay, I would try to borrow enough cash from the bank, family or friends to pay the lease off in full and move out.  Five months of lease stands between you being independent and free of this bum or enduring more of this intolerable immature and irresponsible behavior. Where there's a will, there's a way.

[samsara]

With just 5 months of lease left to pay, I would try to borrow enough cash from the bank, family or friends to pay the lease off in full and move out.  Five months of lease stands between you being independent and free of this bum or enduring more of this intolerable immature and irresponsible behavior. Where there's a will, there's a way.

Oh believe me, I've tried.   I am planning on trying to get out of here a month or two ahead of the lease, but as it is I'm going to have to borrow money from my retirement fund to be able to afford to pay for the move (since I'm planning a move across the country, once my employer gives me permission to become a remote employee).

The only way I've been able to stomach this situation is because he's only a harm to himself, not to me.  At his core, he's a waif, a small boy in a man's body who just wants mommy to "fix" whatever gets broken.   "Mommy" (me) will help him emotionally, but no longer financially, and so at this point my primary objective is to get through each month with my sanity in tact.   I grew up with a NP/BPD mother, so I'm all too familiar with the game.

To make light of this, I have budgeted money this year to go into a health savings account to pay for getting back in therapy once I get out of here.  I know I'm going to need it.