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Author Topic: Need advice, my ex is threatening me  (Read 1905 times)

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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 17

« on: February 17, 2012, 10:35:13 PM »

Hi everyone.

I need advice to not make my situation worse... .

I broke up with my exBPDbf becasue I found out he was sleeping around and doing sexual crazy stuff behind my back and got the evidence from a common friend.

I had been in NC for over a month.

He suddenly emailed me a week ago to talk about money he owes me. He said he can pay me back soon.

I did not expected he pays me back and said I don't need the money when we broke up, but he said he will.

I replied to him and said "Ok pay me back due the end of this month. I will not wait any longer." because I have already waited for 4 months and really wanted to end this mess asap. That's it.

However, he emailed me this morning and said "I can not afford all 800. I can pay only 100 now. Im telling you that I will pay you back! You piss me off, stop being f***ing ass! If you try to break my life, I will F**k YOUR life blah blah blah... ."

I think he is afraid that I have some evidnce and can break his life.

I am not interested in his messy life anymore, I just want to get out completely. but he seems to be upset and never hear me.

Shoud I ignore this completely? or should I reply to him and say "I don't need the money and am not interseted in breaking your life. Just get out of my life."?

Im concerned that he knows number & email address of my company.

(I live in another country and don't need to worry about his visit.)

I will appreciate any advice, I really want to end this mess... .

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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 808

« Reply #1 on: February 17, 2012, 11:11:50 PM »

Your time is valuable. So is your peace of mind. Let him keep the $800 and consider it money well spent to get him out of your life. You'll have many more opportunities to earn $$$ in the future- don't haggle over what's owed to you. Paying you back could take years. Payback to a character disordered individual always comes with angry accusations- never sincere thanks.

If there ever was a lesson to learn it's this: Borderlines can play the part of professional victims better than authentic victims. Even in all fairness, when money is lent with good intentions, the Borderline will harbor a persecution complex when confronted. Don't give him the opportunity to play the victim. Cut him out of your life and let go of the money. It's the best way out.  Doing the right thing (click to insert in post)

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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 444

« Reply #2 on: February 17, 2012, 11:11:54 PM »

Ignore. The only way to get them out is to ignore and go strictly NC

Stronger, Better, Smarter

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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 17

« Reply #3 on: February 18, 2012, 12:33:46 AM »


Thank you so much for your advice!

You are right, I have a full time job, I should consider I paid 800 to end this mess and start my new life without him Laugh out loud (click to insert in post)

I wanted him to pay me back becuse I could not stand that he might be sleeping around by using the money, but I know I should not care about that and move on completely.

I got another email from him a couple hours ago. He changed his attitude and said "I am sorry for getting mad at you. I promise I will pay you back and just wanna make sure you are happy."

... .sigh, what he says never make sense  ?

Of corese I have not replied to him.

I will ignore all his contact!


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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 17

« Reply #4 on: February 18, 2012, 12:39:28 AM »


Thank you so much for your advice Smiling (click to insert in post)

I really want to get him out and focus on my new life.

I will block his email address and number! Thank you for reminding me of most important thing!
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