Need help finding a link

[cartman1]

Just wondered if anyone has the link to the 'JADE' and other examples. I've been looking everywhere and can't find them. Think it would be a good bit if reading for me today.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Chosen]

cartman1:  welcome back, and see if these links help:

TOOLS: Stop Invalidating Your Partner (or the BPD person in your life)

Communication using validation. What it is; how to do it

How to stop circular arguments

[cartman1]

Hey chosen,

Yeah, I've read these ones. Being validating is something I've been working on. I started with S.E.T. But find a lot of the time all I need to do is listen. Not be offended by what is being said as it just creates circular arguments and say something like "I didn't realise I was making you feel this way, do you think it would be a good idea if WE... .  ?" I try to take her feeling into consideration and try to find a solution that we or she can work on rather than me taking control of a situation.

I just wanted to make sure I wasn't 'JADING'