Hi

[Laura88]

Hi everyone,

I'm Laura, 25, newly engaged and from the UK. My mum has diagnosed BPD and I am currently having quite a few struggles with her.

I've posted my story here: https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=191543.0

if anyone wants to take a look, it is VERY long so I warn you i advance.

I am so happy to have found this forum and hope to gain a lot out of it.

[ambi]

Hi Laura88:

 I read your post and all I keep thinking is that you have amazing resilience.  I'm really sorry to hear that you lost your grandfather.

You said that you wanted to improve your boundaries with your mum.  There's a really terrific workshop on here that might be useful to you.  It's called Coping when a Family Member has BPD Lessons/Survivor's Guide to Childhood Abuse.  One of the very first lessons includes a section on boundaries.  There's also a section on there about a tool called the Medium Chill.  That might help reduce some of the conflict with your mum as well.

I think you found the right place to be on the boards already.  Hopefully, you got some sleep after staying up so late posting to us.  Thank you for sharing your story.

ambi

[Newton]

Laura   

I too have a mum who I believe shows significant BPD traits (not diagnosed).  It is not an easy road having a parent who requires/demands constant support... .  I agree with ambi, you have shown incredible resilience in coping with her behaviour.

I am sure you will find this website incredibly useful.  There are many members here experiencing the same situation as you.

It's great you have taken such time to post how things have been until now... .  it will help others to appreciate how challenging things have been for you.

Congratulations on your recent engagement!    I can imagine the strain your mothers illness puts on your relationship with your man.  The tools and lessons here will help you, and as a consequence take pressure off of your partner... .  

 

[Laura88]

Thanks you for you kind replies. I've spent quite a long time today reading through the wealth of info on this site and I wish i'd found it much earlier. The thread about 'Medium Chill' has been extremely helpful!

[ambi]

The Medium Chill has really been a good tool for me as well.   

You'll get lots of support from the folks at [L5]  Coping and Healing from a BPD Parent, Sibling, or Inlaw Board. 

I think you'll find a lot of support here. 

ambi