So... . the rest of this week has been interesting. I am waiting to hear whether or not I am getting the new place I looked at. Its nice, closer to my job... . GATED.
I returned to work, and have been on my meds for a full week now. My T gave me a cd to listen to called " you can heal your life" by louise hay, and it has been really really helpful. I mean, really... .
Friday, a deputy called me to let me know that he had been in contact with him. He advised him that he has a restraining order and a court date, and that he needed to pick up the paperwork. He told them he was two hours away, and would pick up the paperwork on Monday.
I went to the house today, with my sister and her hubby, so that we could begin packing my things. It was so cold in the house when we got there. It took almost 3 hours to really warm up. Love don't live here anymore... . thats how it felt.
I got a lot of packing done, but I'll have to go back to the house to get the rest done later this week.
It was hard though. I came across a picture of him. One that was taken when he was in the desert. It was his back ( he was showing off his cobra head), and it immediately brought tears to my eyes. Looking at his back ( even in this picture) just made me remember that we are walking away from each other. It hurt like hell today.
I turned on some music in my room, and this song was playing that says I wanna go back to when I was in love with you, theres nothing I can do. Its no fair I want to back to when I was in love with you"... .
I sat in my closet and cried like a baby. I'm still in love with this man. I'm waiting for my heart to catch up with my head, and sometimes this while thing takes my breath away. I kept thinking that I'm getting help... . but whose going to help him... . I know its not my job to worry about him, but I am.
I wish I could fast forward to when this pain is over. All I kept thinking is how can he let us be over? Why can't he fix it? But I know why. I don't like, and I don't understand it... . but it is what it is.
I also was able to talk to my neighbor. She told me he was at the house just about every evening last week.
I could tell... . he had stomped a pair of my favorite pumps ( I guess thats what he did). The were in the middle of the kitchen, with all kinds of dents in them, and the heels were broken off. He also punched some holes in the walls of my closet.
Good thing our petition ask that he pay for the damages to what used to be our home.
There were plenty of beer cans left behind, and some more pictures he had ripped up. Of course his thing were still there.
This evening, I get a call from a friend of mine. She used to date a friend of his. During the course of our relationship he and this guy friend had big falling out, He tried to fight this guy at the club and shot at him. The last year of our relationship, he had little, if any contact with him.
Well any way, my friend called me to let me know that she had gotten a text message from his friend. The message says : he wants to know if you can get his stuff from old girl, since he cant contact her"
Old girl, huh? They both know my name. At first this made me feel like a nothing. Then I realized that this is just another part of his game. He could have picked his ~ up while he was just hanging around the house last week. He's so full of it.
My friend isn't going to respond. I thanked her.
I'm ready for all the good stuff life has to offer. Hope this blows over quickly, and quietly ... .
