Consistency/ stability : I need it

[Seahorse1]

Im laying in bed watching the ceiling fan and it reminds me of all the circular , never ending arguments... .  

I'm a simple girl... .  And stated on our first date that I need stability in my relationships... .  

I turn my head... .  And theres my dog... .  He's 12!

He's seen me through the loss of both parents, 4 different homes... .  Three relationships... .  

And as I write... .  Here comes my cat who has seen me through the same... .  

Consistency, loyalty... .  

That's what matters to me!

[maria1]

Hi Seahorse

If your dog and your cat give you what you need then why not start working on you? If you need consistency and stability you're not going to get that in a relationship with someone with BPD.

You might find it in other areas of your life and you could certainly find it by working on your own responses through the staying board and learning and practicing the tools, but it strikes me as very at odds with the sort of r/s you have with your pwBPD.

Why do you stay in something that gives you the opposite? Where is that need in you coming from?