What doesn't kill you makes you stronger...

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

I think about this statement a lot.  I try to embrace it.  Right now I feel it.  I feel the strength of all that I have been through.  I have the knowledge that I am a good mother, sister, daughter, friend, worker, and partner.  The and partner is important.  My BPD has made me question that.  I am and right now, right at this moment, I know this.  That is how I know I am getting better.  An hour from now... .  well I don't know where I will be in my thoughts?  I want to stay here... .  in this place in my mind.  I am working on it.  I am trying to keep the power.  These boards and the comments help me get stronger.  I want to thank you all for that.

[mssomebodynice]

I think about this statement a lot.  I try to embrace it.  Right now I feel it.  I feel the strength of all that I have been through.  I have the knowledge that I am a good mother, sister, daughter, friend, worker, and partner.  The and partner is important.  My BPD has made me question that.  I am and right now, right at this moment, I know this.  That is how I know I am getting better.  An hour from now... .  well I don't know where I will be in my thoughts?  I want to stay here... .  in this place in my mind.  I am working on it.  I am trying to keep the power.  These boards and the comments help me get stronger.  I want to thank you all for that.

[bpdspell]

Yes.

It may sound cliche but this statement is really affirming and life saving. As long as we have breath there's an opportunity for growth and healing. The pain that arises and erupts from these relationships can feel like the end of the world but our BPD's are not the beginning and end of the world. We just have to hold on to that thought until we start to believe it.

We were born without them and we can LIVE without them. I was 36 years old when I met my BPDexbf. That means I lived and survived 35 years prior to meeting him.   They are not the author's of our life story and they are not the period at the end of our life's sentence. They do not have to be extension's of us. They are not the gate keepers of "love" or "happiness". And unless they commit to help they are the gatekeepers of "misery"... .  

Spell

[mssomebodynice]

I agree.  It is staying focused and not remembering the 'honeymoon period'.  I am educated better now and I know that won't last.  There are so many good people on these boards.  People willing to go above and beyond in their relationships.  It gives me hope that I will find the right person.  Letting go is hard.  Painful.  Knowing that the Hell they live in becomes enmeshed with who you are is helping me too.  It is as if I assume some of their darkness and they take some of my happiness.  Well I am going to try to give back their darkness and take back my happiness.  I am sayin to myself "No thankyou!"

[Neverknow]

I keep singing the refrain from the song by Chumbawamba in my head.

"I get knocked down, but I get up again, because you're never going to keep me down... .  "   

[mssomebodynice]

Neverknow, that is a good line as well.  It amazes me how I can change.  Yesterday was a horrible and weepy day.  Today I felt empowered.  Like I could see clearly through the fog.  I am happy to be on this board today.  Happy that I feel as if I am moving in a healthy direction.  Glad to be who I am.  This has been such a drain on me as a person.  Walking on eggshells is not what I want to do the rest of my life.  Love is supposed to feel good.  It shouldn't be this hard.  Gosh I hope I can keep this feeling.  Thanks for the positive words.  They are so helpful.

[truly amazed]

Ahh ... .  yes.

Great comments.

We lived before without them and will do so after them.

Some experiences yes do make us stronger but at a cost. Others teach us more about ourselves than we have learnt in many years and sometimes decades. For me the BPD experience taught me more about myself and what my journey was about and had been than any other in my whole 46 years at the time. It taught me who I am, what I stand for and why I often did things for a reason not knowing what shaped me into the person i was prior to meeting my BPD ex and its also made me change as a result of this experience after my BPD ex.

Some may think not for the better as I do no longer tolerate people like that, abusive or cruel or manipulative, but for me ... .  I was happy inside my skin prior to meeting her and even more so with a lot of growth after the event.

Take care 

[mssomebodynice]

truly amazed, thanks so much for sharing.  Yes, this experience has shaped me too.  To be discerning is not a bad thing, nor is setting limits.  I bet you can also spot many who are good in their soul too.  Some wisdom is hard earned.  I have learned so much and it sounds like you have too.  I wish you well and hope you find real love. 

[truly amazed]

Howdy

truly amazed, thanks so much for sharing.  Yes, this experience has shaped me too.  To be discerning is not a bad thing, nor is setting limits.  I bet you can also spot many who are good in their soul too.  Some wisdom is hard earned.  I have learned so much and it sounds like you have too.  I wish you well and hope you find real love. 

yes thanks and you too. I am well out of the BPD mess for around 2 years now and have found new love so in many ways I am lucky in the extreme.

Take care 

[myself]

I was happy inside my skin prior to meeting her and even more so with a lot of growth after the event.

Was Good/ Now Better! That's the best!