want tips and tricks

[HaylFire]

We have just found out my boyfriend/baby daddy has BPD. I was wanting to know what things you do to avoid and deal with mood swings, arguments, ect.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Mike76]

Welcome Haylfire,   you should be able to find some help on these boards.

Others will be able to provide much more assistance than me.

One things I must say if you have got an official diagnoses of BPD you have an advantage. (I say this on your intro post.)

To answer your question for right now read the lessons that you can see on the right side of the page.

[Cloudy Days]

What helped me the most in the beginning was learning what I was doing wrong during an argument or a rage, and sometimes what I was doing to start the rage.

I suggest reading about how to stop invalidating and also learn how to validate. Never JADE (Justify, Argue, Defend or Explain) This is what helped me the most in the beginning and still helps me to this day

[briefcase]

 

The mood swings and arguments really start to take a toll in these relationships, especially with the added responsibility of a 1-month old child.  It's a time of change and transition. 

You will need to be strong and stable for yourself and your child.  As others have suggested, the Lessons are a great place to start.  There are a lot of things you can do on your side of this relationship that will give you back control and help keep you strong.

Are there specific issues that cause trouble?  Is he in treatment?

[HaylFire]

he is now in treatment but he was just diagnosed. really thr troubles in our relationship is stress of him getting a job, and other people not doing their pahe is now in treatment but he was just diagnosed. really thr troubles in our relationship is stress of him getting a job i get all of the depressing rage. but when he is with me for the most part he seems happy and has only had rage when we would get into fights about  things. normal reltionship fights