Need to Detach with Love because BPDh committed suicide

[Maryiscontrary]

It is very observant what Maria said... .  "Can't cope living in this world."

My husband threatened many times and self injured. He absolutely could not be soothed. When he got into those stAtes, there was nothing you could say. It was like a seizure.

But he refused all forms of help.

This is a situation for your familt where there did not seem to be an apparent solution. Unless a person with attachment issues gets real, and gets as serious as a heart attack about finding solutions, then the pain overtakes them.

I have pretty severe celiac disease. I was so ill thAt I was hallucinating in the middle of the night. I had been on 11 psych medications, and none of them helped. When my GI finally went kaput, the core problem of wheat allergy was identified, I immediately stopped eating it.

It took huge sacrifice, but I was desperate and very sick. I was suicidal because I could not function. Within 2 days, brain clarity emerged. I was not mentally ill, I had an untreated autoimmune disorder.  But had I not discovered this, suicide would have been the only option, because I was not functioning, and I was very, very independent and proud person.

I am so very, very sorry for your loss. This is an impossible situation for you.

Big, big hugs.

[Rose Tiger]

Sweet Girl,  I am so sorry for your loss.  This is about the most difficult thing a person could ever have to deal with in a life.  How many of us would like to go back in time and have a do over.  Go back and live a day over.  I found comfort in reading stories of other people that were going through very difficult times, especially when I wondered if I could survive myself through so much grief.

I want to pass on this book suggestion, it's not real deep or have all the answers but I think you will relate to the feelings.

www.lollywinston.com/aboutgg.html

[artman.1]

CHIHIRO,

     You are left with the pieces to pick up.  You have to do it.  Pick them up and rebuild the puzzle for yourself.  Allow yourself to be!  Allow yourself to Cry!  Be kind to yourself and let God be by your side!  He will show you the way to peace.

     With All My Love,   Art

[mggt]

SO SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS WORDS CANNOT EXPRESS MY DEEPEST SYMPATHY FOR U AND YOUR FAMILY NO WORDS CAN HELP NOW BUT HOLD ON TO THE WONDERUL MEMORIES YOU ALL HAD AS A HAPPY FAMILY AND KNOW  YOU DID ALL THAT YOU COULD HUMANLY POSSIBLE I WISH THERE WERE WORDS TO EASE YOUR SORROW TAKE CARE OF YOU AND YOURS AND ALWAYS HOLD YOUR HEAD UP HIGH AND HOLD ON TO THE GOOD MEMORIES TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF AND GOD BLESS YOU AND YOURS 

[another_guyD]

Chihiro,

   I am very sorry for your loss. But I will encourage you to move on yourself.

  I can sympathize, as least somewhat, my sons mother (not exactly the same she was my ex) hung herself in September of last year and I have become the sole care giver to a very loved 7 year old boy. Please, don't blame yourself. I don't know your whole story, but I have found this to be my new beginning. You are free from a very heavy burden, though it happened in a painful and heart wrenching way.

Please live your life wonderfully and to the fullest possible! Grasp the freedom from "the game" you now have and enjoy your life! I am trying to do this as well.

Sincerely,

Nathan     

[GreenMango]

Chihiro I can't imagine what you and your children are going through.  Please know you are welcome to post here on the Leaving board as you need and we welcome you with open arms. 

I'm so very sad to hear that you and your husband experienced the most extreme expression of this tragic illness.

My thoughts are with you and your family.

[Dragonfly24]

Thank you, I was 't sure where to post.  I am so grateful to have found this site last fall, and hope one day I can help someone else know they are not alone.  Thank you everyone, I really really appreciate your care and support.  I know my post was a mess, and I do believe I am in shock... .  I have an amazing therapist who I had seen last night after I got the news.  I know I am lucky to have friends and family and amazing coworkers for strength, love and immediate support and assistance with myself and my son, as I am a kindergarten teacher and being out is so incredibly hard... .  to even begin thinking of how this news will spread through town... .    I believe my support system with them, my therapist and this amazing list of members here will help me up when I am down and guide me into repairing and rebuilding myself and moving into a chosen, happier life with my son.

Chihiro I can't imagine what you and your children are going through.  Please know you are welcome to post here on the Leaving board as you need and we welcome you with open arms. 

I'm so very sad to hear that you and your husband experienced the most extreme expression of this tragic illness.

My thoughts are with you and your family.

[Dragonfly24]

I'm so sorry I got confused as to where I was posting

[Weird Fishes]

I'm so sorry, Chihiro.  Take care of yourself.

[Grey Kitty]

Chihiro,

Words fail me. I can't even imagine what you are going through. Just the same, let me wish you the strength and peace to make it through.

I know that people want to help, I do have friends who reach out, but I don't think they want to visit those dark places with me, and it pains me to take them there, merely by being in my presence.

I wouldn't say that your friends want to visit those dark places with you. I wouldn't say that anybody does.

Consider taking them up on the offer anyway. If they offer to go into the darkness with you, they will bring some light. Everybody has their own light shining through them, no matter how small or how well hidden.

I find myself more likely to cry when someone offers me support at a hard time. I think I open up to feel their love and support, and that opening up exposes me to the grief at the same time. It isn't easy. It never will be. What the heck do I know... .  I've never had a death anything like that close to me. I'm just so sorry to hear it happened to you.

[HowCouldYou]

Chihiro, You were the second person who replied to me when I originally posted here a little over a year ago. Your thoughtful response has helped me a great deal and I am very sorry to hear about your loss. Please accept my condolences, and thank you again for your help when I needed it.

[Surnia]

Chiriro,

You came recently in my mind and know I found this thread again.

I hope you coud find some peaceful moments within the grieving process and my thoughts and my heart is with you furthermore!