What to ask my T?

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

Anyone got any tips on what to ask my T? Any guidance on what you did in Therapy that really made a difference in your healing? Any stuff to avoid that you felt wasted time? I only get one hour per week so I want to maximize my time and obviously heal as fast as possible not to mention the cost is not cheap. Any responses would be greatly appreciated!

[Robbz]

Anyone got any tips on what to ask my T? Any guidance on what you did in Therapy that really made a difference in your healing? Any stuff to avoid that you felt wasted time? I only get one hour per week so I want to maximize my time and obviously heal as fast as possible not to mention the cost is not cheap. Any responses would be greatly appreciated!

[GreenMango]

I don't have any great advice but wanted to say good for you for putting your emotional health as a priority.

Maybe just be very honest with the T and yourself. 

This is a good move on your part and you are worth the expense, time and effort. 

[Robbz]

Well I kind of feel like an idiot as I see my T's eyes lit up in horror and bewilderment at some of the events that happened in the relationship. I kind of want to ask her on a scale of what she hears weekly honestly how screwed up is this relationship compared to what you hear weekly? (She treats BPD's).  I actually want to ask that!

[GreenMango]

why not ask?

I'd say it's a fair question to ask her.  She may not share, but she may to give you a wake call and to help reset your barometer to "healthy".

[Whatwasthat]

One bit of advice I'd have. Lots of things will probably occur  to you that you want to ask or tell your T during the week - you'll never remember all of them - note them down as you think of them so that you don't forget to bring them up in the session.

Getting into T is great! Good luck WWT.

[Surnia]

Great your are in T, Robbz. 

I would agree, be honest, dont be shy to ask about things!

What I love with my T is having homework. This helps me to be focused on special things between the sessions.

[Confusedandhurt]

i've been in T for about two months, and it has helped a great deal.  My T has had a lot of experience with BPDs, but surprisingly enough, not a lot of experience with those recovering from BPD relationships.  I typically bring a lot of questions with me, focusing on why my BPDex would do this or say that.  My T has helped me put her behaviors into context and allowed me to view those behaviors through the lens of a pwBPD.

One of the big things is to be open and honest.  It's a little scary, but I have found it to really help by trusting in someone safe.  My T has characterized my treatment plan as 1) Addressing the current crisis; and 2) Address the underlying issues in myself which enabled me to stay in a toxic relationship and which prevented me from walking away when i was treated like a disposable object.  I'm still in the first stage, as I continue to deal with contact issues from my ex.

Hope this helps!

[myself]

I agree with taking notes between sessions. When you're having a rough time, for example, jot down you're feelings. Have questions? Ask them. Look at your own patterns, seeing what works for you or keeps you stuck. With a good T, talking through this stuff will really help. May well lead to areas you weren't focusing on, but bringing them to light will be beneficial, in time. Follow through. Most of all, be honest for the best results.