blames me for no contact

[gcm]

My dBPDs is literally driving me crazy. She just won't stop trying to contact me. I have tried to ignore but I get triggered everytime the phone rings or I get a text. I know I should get a new number, but, I can't bring myself to do it and i am afraid she will find out the new one.  Her last text read "I miss hanging out/laughing/talking with you, but I understand if you want nothing to do with me"  Which makes me so angry since we haven't had any "fun" or "laughing' in decades.  I feel like she is manipulating me to try and get me to remember when we were little and make me feel guilty. I finally broke down and responded and said "a lot has happened" and that was it. She then responded and said "I am glad you are getting help". As if I am the "sick one"?  Ughhh... .  she enrages me and I am so mad at myself for responding to her.  I haven't heard from her since which is good, but, now she has my Mom doing her dirty work by "passing messages" on to me (my sister is pregnant). I want NOTHING to do with her and yet my Mom keeps trying to get involved. HELP!  : )

[GeekyGirl]

It would be good to talk to your mother about the messages and start setting some boundaries with her. It's probably very hard for her to see conflict between you and your sister, and she probably thinks that she's helping. You could approach it with empathy and stress to her that you can understand how hard it is to see this situation, but the issues between you and your sister are between the two of you, and you'd appreciate her understanding.

It's never fun getting guilt-inducing text messages. What you can do is decide how you want to react to your sister's texts, knowing how you're likely to feel when you receive her messages. There's nothing wrong with taking a "time out" and not responding for a little while, or not at all.

[gcm]

Thank you so much for the advice. It is just so hard when their relationship is so different since they are mother and daughter. I am convinced my mother is extremely co-dependent and it is not going to get any better since my dBPDs is pregnant. The whole thing is frustrating!