losing a son

[vasti]

Its not my place to diagnose,but BPD is the only thing that fits my DIL.It also helps me to think of this as an illness+not pure nastiness.

Over 6 years my son(in his md 20s) has become a stranger to his friends, family+country,because of his wife's alienation + antipathy towards us.

Everything is terribly secret and private.I have seen him covering up,excusing + even lying about what can only be called tantrums.I feel for him having to live in virtual isolation from all he once held dear + know there is nothing I can say or do,unless he asks.On one hand, I respect and agree with his honourable attitude towards marriage,but can't understand how he survives the emotional and verbal abuse.

Have come to accept this lost relationship,but am still grieving

[ambi]

Hi vasti:

  It's very hard to watch our children hurt - sometimes harder than dealing with our own pain.  I'm sorry you're being kept from your son right now.  There's a lot of information on here. 

A lot of us have been in a relationship with a BPD partner.  When you ask how someone survives the emotional and verbal abuse - well, a lot of us do and fight very hard to keep that partner around.  Why we stay - intermittent rewards and Stockholm Syndrome  is an interesting article that talks about that very question.

Do you have grandchildren from your son?

ambi